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Take a rapid look at someone, then look away．Do you realize you have made a statement? Hold the glance for a second longer, and you have made a different statement．Hold it for three seconds, and the meaning has changed again．For every social situation, there is an allowed time that you can hold a person's look without being close, rude or dangerous．If you are on a lift, what stare time are you permitted? To answer this question, consider what you specially do．You very likely give other passengers a quick look to judge of them and to let them believe that you mean no harm．Since being close to another person suggests the possibility of communication, you need to give a signal telling others you want to be left alone．So you cut off eye contact(接触), what Dr．Erving Goffman(1963)calls“a dimming of the lights”．You look down at the floor, at the lift door, or anywhere but into another passenger's eyes．If you break the rule against staring at a stranger on a lift, you'll make the other person gradually uncomfortable, and you are likely to feel a bit strange yourself．
If you hold eye contact for more than 3 seconds, what are you telling another person? Much depends on the person and the situation．For instance, a man and a woman communicate interest in this matter．They may look at each other for about 3 seconds at a time, then drop their eyes down for 3 seconds, before letting their eyes meet again．But if one man gives another man a 3-second-plus stare, he signals,“I know you”,“I am interested in you”,or“You look strange and I am curious about you”．This type of stare often produces unfriendly feelings．
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