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【题目】写作

临近毕业,学校在学习小组内开展了初中阶段自评和组评活动,假设你是Moonlight小组的组长,请根据下面表格中的信息和提示,为你的组员Tommy进行综合素质的评价,写一份素质报告。

Name

Tommy

Characteristics

聪明、大方(各举1例)

Hobbies

喜欢看书,认为看书有很多好处(请列举2个好处)

Honour

他在家帮助做家务。在学校和同学相处融洽。上学途中遵守交通规则(举1例)。今年,学校授予了他优秀学生奖(Award for Best Student)

Problems

面临考试时,感到压力很大。他没有充足的睡眠。

Your suggestions

(根据实际情况提2点建议)…

要求:1)表达清楚,语法正确,上下文连贯;

2)必须包括表格中所有的相关信息,并适当发挥;

3)词数:100词左右(开头已给出,不计入总词数);

4)不得使用真实姓名、校名和地名等。

Tommy is a member of my team called Moonlight. _____________________________

▲ ▲ ▲

【答案】Tommy is a member of my team called Moonlight. He is clever and he is good at all his lessons. He is so generous that he shares everything with his friends.He likes reading because he thinks he can get much knowledge and learn more about the world by reading. And reading has a good effect on children’s growth. At home, he can help his parents do some housework. At school, he gets on well with his classmates. On the way to school, he obeys the traffic rules. He crosses the road when the light is green. Our school presented him with Award for Best Student this year. However, Tommy is stressed when the exam comes. And he doesn’t have enough sleep.

I think he should go over what he has learned before exams. It’s better for him to manage his time wisely so that he can have enough time to rest.

【解析】这篇作文要求我们按照表格里的内容介绍一下Tommy的情况,为Tommy写一篇综合素质的评价报告。在表格中有非常详细的关于Tommy各方面的内容,我们需要用正确的英语把这些内容有条理的表达出来。表格中涉及的内容较多,写作时要注意表达的条理性。这篇作文应主要使用第三人称来写。在最后要给Tommy提一些建议,这一部分应该用第一人称。同时注意表达的准确性,尤其是表格中的第五项和第六项内容。

【亮点说明】这是一篇比较优秀的范文。这篇作文内容完整,包含了表格中的所有内容,没有遗漏要点。表达准确,注意了被动形式的使用,如He was rewarded by our school this year.。写作时注意了条理性,使文章具有层次感,条理清楚。短文注意到了长短句的结合,并恰当的使用了一些连词,使文章表达的连贯。如He is always ready to help others.、He not only likes reading detective novels but also likes watching programs about sports news.、He is good at running. He won the first place in our school sports meeting this year.等。

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