分析 这篇作文要求我们根据所给信息写一封电子邮件?内容包括:自我介绍;出游时间?目的地等信息;需要提前做的准备工作?写作时,我们可以根据需要将这些信息进行整理和安排,使文章的意思衔接更自然?文中所使用的词汇和句型,是学生们比较熟悉的,所以将平时的积累发挥出来就可以?当然我们要尽量使用一些好的句型和连词,使文章上下文意思连贯,更出彩?
写作亮点:这是一篇非常优秀的作文,短文中作者按照题目的要求条理清楚,结构清晰,要点全面?而且作者在写作时,并不是完全按照题目中给出的顺序,逐句翻译的,而是将这些信息进行了整合,让意思关联紧密的放在一起表达?短文中的语言合乎英语的表达规范,而且作者还使用了一些较好的词汇和句式,增强了文章的连贯性?如:动词不定式和动词-ing形式的使用,被动结构,状语从句,宾语从句和一些好的短语act as,be amazed at,in terms of,look forward to等等?
解答 Dear Mr.Smith,
It is honor to introduce myself to you.I'm Li Hua,chairman of the Student Union of our school.And I was asked to act as a tourist guide for you on next weekend.(自我介绍)The schedule and details are as follows:
We'll have a wonderful and well-organized trip,not far from the downtown.Since you are new here,you will be amazed at the scenery and surroundings there.(高级句型)In terms of the meeting time,8 o'clock on the morning of Saturday will be fine.(高级句型)And at that time,I will be waiting for you at the school gate.Remember not to take too many things.Just a bottle of water,some pieces of bread or other kinds of food,a cap or a pair of sunglasses will be enough.(出游时间和目的及准备)
Looking forward to seeing you.(高级句型)I believe we'll have a good day.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
点评 应该注意适当增加细节以使行文连贯,比如适当选用表示因果、递进、转折关系的连接词,使文章流畅、通顺,并避免因反复使用句式相同的简单句而造成的单调感.(1)认真审题,确定体裁. (2)构思要点.根据题目要求,理解要表达的要点.设计好文章的层次段落,考虑所用时态、人称等,把要点串联起来,构成文章框架.(3)选词造句,避难选易.(4)认真检查,避免错误.仔细阅读全文,查找是否有错,注意时态、单词拼写、字母大小写、标点是否有误,句式是否正确.逻辑是否一致.
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