Question

6．假设你和你朋友在中山公园散步时遇到的一件事，请根据要求写一篇英语短文．
【写作内容】
时间          上星期六下午
地点          在中山公园的湖边
事件          我和朋友在散步，湖中一个小女孩在呼救．我们没来得及脱衣服就跳进湖中将她救上岸，对她做了人工呼吸，并在她恢复知觉后，送她去医院．我们还打电话通知她的家长．最终小女孩得救了．
评价          家长很感激，医生对我们的急救给予高度评价．
感受          懂得急救只是很重要．
参考词汇：急救 first aid
【写作要求】
只能使用5个句子表达全部的内容．
【评分标准】
结构准确、内容完整和篇章连贯．  _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Answer 1

分析 高分句型：
句型一：
 Last Saturday afternoon，my friend and I were walking by the lake in Zhongshan Park when （1）suddenly we heard a girl calling（2）for help in the lake．上周星期天下午我和朋友正在中山公园湖边散步这时突然听到一个女孩在湖里的求救．
（1）when并列连词"这时"，为了引起注意，常常与过去进行时、过去完成时或was/were about to 连用；
（2）hear sb．doing 听见某人在做…
句型二：
Her parents were very thankful to us and the doctors thought highly of（1）our first aid，which（2）made us realize that knowing first aid is of significance（3）for everyone．她的父母非常感谢我们，医生高度评价了我们的急救，这使我们意识到对每个人来讲懂得急救非常重要．
（1）think highly of高度评价
（2）which引导了非限制性定语从句，指代整个主句，只能放在主句之后．
（3）be of significnce=be significant重要；"of+抽象名词"可以替换相应的形容词；在书面表达中用短语替换常用词也是增加亮点的一个方法．

解答 Last Saturday afternoon，my friend and I were walking by the lake in Zhongshan Park when suddenly we heard a girl calling for help in the lake【高分句型一】（时间和地点）．We hurriedly jumped into the lake without taking off our clothes，swam towards her and pulled her out．Then we made her breathe using mouth-to-mouth way before she came to herself，sent her to hospital and telephoned her parents．Afterwards，we were told that the girl was saved because of the timely rescue（事件的过程）．
Her parents were very thankful to us and the doctors thought highly of our first aid（评价），which made us realize that knowing first aid is very important for everyone【高分句型二】（感受）．

点评 写作时首先审题要到位：审体裁、人称和时态；审要点．其次要考虑高分词语和句型的选用，从句、非谓语动词、倒装、强调句型等都是可考虑的高级句型；词语和句型的选用要包含作者的感情色彩和增强表达的气势；再次，运用关联词如besides、what's  more、moreover、for one thing …for another等，使文字更加流畅．