分析 本文是一篇书信类的作文题目,主要讲述了李华关于现在中学生对于ipad的使用情况的一份讲述信.写作文前首先要抓住作文的大意,如本篇作文的中心就是针对中学生对于ipad的使用情况进行论述;其次就是根据题目中给出的要点,建立自己文章的大纲,如本篇文章主要分成以下几个部分;第一部分简单的介绍自己以及讲述了ipad的好处,第二部分讲述了某些同学不一样的看法,第三部分讲述了自己的观点,最后一部分就是自己提出的一些建议.文章的脉络清晰,并且按照题目所给的要求已经进行分点阐述,用词简单新颖,句型结构完整,值得学生加以借鉴.
【亮点说明】本文要点齐全、行文连贯.运用了一些非常好的短语和句子为文章增色不少,如 behelpful to,make good use of,academic success,in a proper way;并注意了句子之间的衔接如Apparently;however;In my opinion;therefore;Furthermore
Using an iPad,we can listen to music,download a lot of learning materials and read them on the screen.(高分句型)
Some students,however,bring their iPads to the classroom and listen to music without earphones,which makes the teacher and other students greatly annoyed.(高分句型)
Furthermore,the school should make a rule to guide the students to use iPads in a proper way.(高分句型)
解答 Dear Editor',
I'm a senior high school student named Li Hua.Now many students have iPads and think it's a fashion to use them.Using an iPad,we can listen to music,download a lot of learning materials and read them on the screen.(高分句型)Apparently,it's helpful to our study,especially to our English listening.(对学习的好处)
Some students,however,bring their iPads to the classroom and listen to music without earphones,which makes the teacher and other students greatly annoyed.(高分句型)Some of them even waste precious time in class playing video games.(对学习的弊端)
In my opinion,as students,we should make good use of iPads to help achieve academic success.The classroom is a place for students to study,and therefore
concentration is awfully needed for us to learn our lessons.Furthermore,the school should make a rule to guide the students to use iPads in a proper way.(高分句型)(自己的观点)
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
点评 应该注意适当增加细节以使行文连贯,比如适当选用表示因果、递进、转折关系的连接词,使文章流畅、通顺,并避免因反复使用句式相同的简单句而造成的单调感.(1)认真审题,确定体裁.本文是议论文. (2)构思要点.根据题目要求,理解要表达的要点.设计好文章的层次段落,考虑所用时态、人称等,把要点串联起来,构成文章框架.(3)选词造句,避难选易.(4)认真检查,避免错误.仔细阅读全文,查找是否有错,注意时态、单词拼写、字母大小写、标点是否有误,句式是否正确.逻辑是否一致.
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