20．Effective communication is a sign of strong and stable families while poor communication often causes families difficulties and conflicts，according to Virginia Tech．Understanding the features and the benefits of good family communication helps ensure positive and healthy relationships among family members．
Virginia Tech sees the clear family communication as clear direct and clear indirect communication．The former，the healthiest form of family communication，occurs when you clearly express a message to the correct family member．The latter refers to a message stated understandably but without a good indication of whom the message refers to．
Good listening is of great importance in family communication and it shows that you care and that you are concerned with the message being conveyed．At the same time，you should make constant eye contact and provide verbal feedback （反馈），such as"I see"．Rephrasing（改述） improves understanding and reduces confusion．To rephrase a message，you must listen carefully to the message，restate the message without adding extra information and check with the speaker to ensure the correct understanding．Probing refers to asking questions or making statements to identify the aspects of the message and reflect on the feelings it conveys．Positive speaking requires you to focus on positive things and be willing to share more information related to the topic．This gives you the chance to express yourself，helps family members build positive self-images，and encourages cooperation．
Good family communication develops good relationships and leads to a better understanding，which help reduce anger and stress．Additionally，according to the University of Delaware，good family communication helps resolve conflicts within the family．Good communication also helps families stay strong by recognizing the need for compromise （折中）．
There are some practical tips on improving the communication between the family members．
In order to increase availability，set aside a few minutes every day to connect with your family members and discuss your days and anything disturbing you．
Being empathetic （感情移入的） means listening to the feelings of family members and showing your understanding．
Let the communication in the family be more than just verbal expression．Even the presence of family members are very important．For example，the presence of parents conveys the messages of safety，love and concern for the children．Use body language and gestures of affection generously in the communication．Even when you criticize or correct a child，holding him and talking to him in the most pleasing manner may help the messages to be accepted in the desired manner．Remember a kiss or a hug can tell more than words can do．
| Theme | （71）Communicatingeffectively with family members helps build a strong and stable family． |
| Types | Clear direct
communication | A message is conveyed clearly to the correct family member． |
Clear indirect
communication | A message comes across well，but you don't （72）indicate/show whom the message is for． |
| Methods | Listening | *It gives evidence that you are （73）interested in the message．
*Do make eye contact （74）constantly and give feedback． |
| Rephrasing | Use different words to describe the message，but keep it in mind that you mustn't change the （75）originalmeaning． |
| （76）Probing | Try to understand the feelings the message conveys through asking questions． |
| Positive thinking | l Focus on positive things．
l Provide more related information （77）willingly． |
| Advantages | *Improving understanding and removing negative emotion
*Resolving family conflicts
*（78）Strengthening the links between family members |
| Tips | Being available | （79）Spare/clearsome time every day to talk with your family members． |
| Being empathetic | Try to understand their problems and feeling． |
Letting it be more
than just verbal | l The presence of family members （80）matters/countsa lot．
l Use gestures to express your love． |
