Question

【题目】阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

Mother’s Gift

I grew up in a small town when the primary school was a ten-minute walk from my house. When the noon bell rang, I would race breathlessly home. My mother would be standing at the top of the stairs, smiling down at me.

One lunch-time when I was in the third grade will stay with me always. I had been picked to be the princess in the school play, and for weeks my mother had rehearsed my lines so hard with me. But no matter how easily I acted at home, as soon as I stepped onstage, every word disappeared from my head. Finally, my teacher took me aside. She explained that she had written a narrator’s (旁白的) part to the play, and asked me to change roles. Her words, kindly expressed, still hurt, especially when I saw my part go to another girl.

I didn’t tell my mother what had happened when I went home for lunch that day. But she sensed my pain. Instead of suggesting we practice my lines, she asked if I wanted to walk in the yard.

It was a lovely spring day and the rose vine (藤蔓) was turning green. Under the huge trees, we could see yellow dandelions (蒲公英) in the grass in bunch, as if a painter had touched our landscape with gold. I watched my mother casually bend down by one dandelion. “I think I’m going to dig up all these weeds,” she said, “pulling it up by its roots. From now on, we’ll have only roses in this garden.”

“But I like dandelions,” I protested. “All flowers are beautiful---even dandelions.”

My mother looked at me seriously. “Yes, every flower gives pleasure in its own way, doesn’t it?” She asked thoughtfully. I nodded, pleased that I had won her over. “And that is true of people too,” she added. “Not everyone can be a princess, but there is no shame in that.” Relieved that she had guessed my pain, I started to cry as I told her what had happened. She listened and smiled.

注意：

1. 所续写短文的词数应为150词左右；

2. 应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；

3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；

4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。

Paragraph 1:

“But you will be a good narrator,” she said, _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

After the play, I took home the dandelion. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Answer 1

【答案】续写范文1

Paragraph 1:

“But you will be a beautiful narrator,” she said, encouraging and comforting me as always as she did. My beloved mom, wearing a shining smile on her scarlet face, added. “The narrtor’s part is important, too.” Thanks to her encouragement, which calmed me down gradually, and I began to accept the narrator part was of vital significance. Time went so fast that it reached to the performance day. At first I was still nervous, but it was at that very moment that I found a dandelion in my pocket. I knew my mom passed the flower to me, which meant to be in company with me.

Paragraph 2:

After the play, I took home the flower. Mom carefully gazed at the dandelion, gently pressed it into the dictionary and grinned happily as she did. “We were perhaps the only people who would press such a sorry-looking weed.” Though decades have passed, I constantly recall our precious lunchtimes being together, clinging to each other, bathed in the soft midday light. For this, I am forever grateful, because smiles on mother’s face and her kind act foster a man like me now! And all those inspiring words like “Cease to struggle and you cease to live.” have been echoing in my mind as fresh as a daisy.

续写范文2

Paragraph 1

“But you will be a beautiful narrator,” she said, reminding me of how much I loved to read stories aloud to her. “The narrator’s part is every bit as important as the part of a princess.” Her constant encouragement filled me with pride but before the night of the performance, I suddenly felt nervous backstage. My teacher came over to me. “Your mother asked me to give this to you,” she said, handing me a dandelion. Looking at It, I knew my mother was out there.

Paragraph 2

After the play, I took home the flower and my mother pressed it between two sheets of paper in a dictionary, laughing as she did it that, “we were perhaps the only people who would press such a sorry-looking weed.” After all these years, I often look back on our lunchtimes together, bathed in the soft midday light. For this, I am forever grateful, because smiles on mother’s face and her kind act foster a man like me now!

【解析】

这是一篇读后续写。阅读短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

1．速读全文，获取大意

读后续写大多为记叙文，我们可以用五个W和一个H问题来获取文章大意，即用when、where、who、what、how、why来说明“何时何地谁发生了何事，事件是如何发展的，为什么会这样发展。”

2．细读原文，理清脉络

续写是对原文的延伸，学生续写时要遵循原文的思路、风格和语言；要做到故事情节烂熟于心，人物性格准确把握。为此，学生有必要细读原文，了解原文的风格，用笔划出原文主要情节，次要情节，矛盾的冲突点、高潮处或可续写点，从而理清原文脉络。同时也应关注原文好词好句，细节描写和有效对话。

3．分析逻辑，构思情节

读后续写可以从两方面构思情节。一是分析文章结尾和两个段落首句间的逻辑关系，根据五所思维，即“所见，所闻，所想，所感，所做”，运用问题链设置相关问题构思情节。

二是搭建中文支架构思情节。合理且有创意的结尾能让阅卷老师回味无穷。

4．细节描写，优化语言

学生续写时应运用朴实、地道、恰当的词语，不必追求高大上的生僻词汇。续写情节应是原文的延续。续写手法叙述为主，描写为辅。当然，如学生能适时添加动作描写，肖像描写，环境描写，修辞表达和花样表达情节等细节描写，便能优化语言表达，让故事情节充满画面感。

5．检查修改，誊写终稿

完成续写初稿后，学生要检查、修改、润色自己的作文。自查情节是否合理，结尾是否有创意；语法、词汇、人称、时态运用是否准确；是否使用五个关键词；是否有细节描写和品质词句。最后用工整、端正的字迹誊写语篇续写，吸引阅卷教师的眼球。