阅读理解
After a very busy afternoon, as I walked into my house, I heard the phone ringing.It was my friend Lydia, upset over an argument with her husband.My usual approach is to offer advice, but this time, extremely tired from chores, I simply pulled off my coat, sat down in a chair and listened to my friend's frustration and sadness.Without the disturbance of judgment or the desire to comfort her, I stayed totally quiet while she talked.Eventually Lydia's depression eased and we said our goodbyes.The next day she phoned to thank me."I'm so grateful for the way you helped me through this," she said.
At first I was surprised.After all, I had done nothing except be there for her.But after I had my own venting(发泄的)experience with another friend later that evening, I realized that my focused silence had some value.In fact, most relationship experts agree that talk is cheap; it's listening that's rare and valuable.It allows you not only to hear what the other person is saying, but also to have a clear understanding of her thoughts and feelings.And for the speaker, that level of understanding translates into concern and respect.
Unfortunately, listening isn't as easy as it sounds.Thanks to schedules filled with family and work, multitasking has become the barrier(障碍)to listening.My tiredness may have been the only thing stopping me from folding laundry or checking my e-mail while Lydia talked that afternoon.
Another barrier to listening is our listening system:Most of us take in only about half of what's being said during a conversation, according to the International Listening Association.Research shows that we speak at 125 to 150 words per minute, yet think at 500 words a minute.Therefore, because we think much more quickly than we speak, it is easy for us to lose our concentration when listening to speakers.
While it can be hard to focus at times, it's a skill worth developing.With a little practice-employing some techniques-you can become a better listener.