分析 这是一篇立场选择型作文写作.动笔前,一定要认真阅读原文,并理解内容.认真看清题目要求,这篇书面表达给了一段材料:先要求以约30个词概括上文的主要内容,要求有很高的概括提炼的能力,要抓住文章的主题,再以约120个词写一篇短文,按照要点去表达,不能有遗漏,写作时注意准确运用时态,上下文意思连贯,符合逻辑关系.写作时尽量使用自己会的单词、词组和句型,同时也要注意使用一些高级语法和句型,使自己的文章更有文采.范文用了一些高分词组,并且注重句子的连接,在句型上也是多变.
解答 支持:
1.One university in Zhengzhou designs a program where students must clean the campus every day(高分句型一:定语从句) and relates it to class credits.Some people support the program while others do not.(30词)
2.Generally,I am in favor of(高分词组一:支持)the practice.To begin with(连接词一:首先),through their effort,students provide a clean and comfortable environment,which,as a result,is an assurance of their successful academic life.Moreover(连接词二:此外),cleaning and labor can not only serve to build students'character but also contribute positively to students developing healthy routines and good sanitation habits(高分词组二:not only…but also不仅…而且).Last but not least(连接词三:最后但同样重要的),by enjoying the fruits of others'labor,students will develop the awareness of(高分词组三:develop the awareness of 发展…的意识) gratitude and regard labor as a matter of honor(高分词组四:regard…as把…当作).
In short(连接词四:总而言之),carrying out the cleaning program is crucial.The significance(高分名词:significance意义) for students of participating in it means more than academic success.It is part of moral education and benefits students as well as(高分词组五:as well as也,和) the campus.(120词)
支持:
第一段缩写题文.就两句话,点出主题背景,引出争论话题,30字一气呵成.where的成功引导使得大段的文字浓缩在这一精简的复合句中.第二段表明自己立场.Generally,I am in favor of the practice.Generally开头,增色不少.To begin with,through their effort,students provide a clean and comfortable environment,which,as a result,is an assurance of their successful academic life.这一亮点句中,To begin with连词使用得当,梳理论述次序,而其后长短句结合,使得句子读起来抑扬顿挫,夹杂单词which引导非限制性定语从句以及as a result做插入语成分,一下子使作文上升了一个档次.Moreover,进而论述.not only…but also…的使用经典搭配将繁杂内容一次打包.Last but not least,最后一点.develop the awareness of gratitude and regard labor as a matter of honor理由确切不牵强.第三段总结,In short.其中significance,participating和as well as的使用可圈可点.
反对:
1.It is required by one university in Zhengzhou that students should clean the campus every morning to achieve class credits(高分句型一).Opinions on the practice vary widely from person to person.(30词)
2.I am strongly opposed to(高分词组一:be strongly opposed to强烈反对) the practice for the following reasons.First of all(连接词一:首先),cleaning tends to take up(高分词组二:take up花费) too much time,which becomes a distraction for students and discourages them from focusing on their academic performances(高分句型二:非限制性定语从句).Then(连接词二:然后),students can be encouraged to maintain clean living areas but it's unreasonable to relate the cleaning with the academic credits.As students,they should put more efforts into(高分词组三:put more efforts into…把更多的精力放在…) their studies to achieve class credits instead of(高分词组四:instead of代替) sweeping the campus.Furthermore(连接词三:此外),though someone claims labor can contribute to developing the spirit of hard work,it should by no means(高分句型三) be achieved through daily floor-sweeping.
In conclusion(连接词四:总之),there is no sense(高分词组五:there is no sense没有意义) in students sweeping the campus,for it benefits neither their character nor study.(120词)
反对:
第一段概括上文的主要内容,It is required by…Opinions on the practice vary widely from person to person句子新颖且承上启下.第二段表明自身立场,strongly opposed强烈反对.First of all首先,思路明确,紧接which引导的非限制性定语从句将.Then接着,进而论述.but 和instead of在承接句子间顺折关系时效果不错.As students …设定从学生角度出发,说理更合情.Furthermore,再上一层楼.it should by no means 的使用使得句式再添一彩.第三段总结,In conclusion,文末总结.使用there is no sense…语气感强烈,而neither …nor…便水到渠成地将受益两者都否定掉.
点评 一般考试观点论述作文,可以把它想象为中学语文那句经典的"龙头、凤尾、猪肚子".首先第一段陈述问题,并且在第一段最后一句话或者第二段第一句话亮出自己的观点,然后第二段给出自己的论点,并且举出具体的例子进行支持,最后一段总结性陈词即可,这都是很套路的.值得一提的是,在高中英语作文写作技巧中,总结性陈词很重要,平时也要多注意积累.
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