Question

【题目】假设你是红星中学高三学生李华。请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，以“Concert at the Balcony” 为题，用英语写一篇短文向校刊“英语园地”投稿，记述上周末发生在你们小区的一个真实故事。

注意：词数不少于60。

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Answer 1

【答案】Possible version 1:

Last weekend, an unexpected concert at the balcony made my day.

On Sunday afternoon, when I was taking a break from my schoolwork, a clear melody flowed in from the outside. It magically refreshed my tired mind and aroused my curiosity.

Hoping to find its source, I went to the balcony. A young man was playing his violin on the balcony across from mine, his eyes half closed in full enjoyment of the tune. Amazed by his playing, I listened on and was absorbed.

Unexpectedly, to the melody of the violin was added a wonderful chord of guitar from another neighbor. At this scene, I couldn’t help singing along and was surprised when a girl also joined with her pure voice of a child. We hardly knew one another, but in our perfect harmony, we felt like old friends connected by our shared love of music. Our little concert went on and on, fascinating the whole community.

With a closing chord on the guitar, the concert ended. We smiled and waved to each other as if we had just woken up from a sweet dream of music. Our shared memory of the concert at the balcony would not fade away, from which I felt the power of music to inspire and connect people. (213 words)

Possible version 2:

Last weekend, a special concert took place in my neighborhood. The uplifting music and heartwarming neighborliness kept resonating in my mind.

Last Saturday afternoon, I was bored at home doing homework when a piece of beautiful music flowed into my room and refreshed me immediately. Since the outbreak of the virus, everything has gone virtual, so I hurried to my balcony to check it out.

The melody led me to locate the violinist in seconds: a teenage boy playing My Motherland and I on his balcony. Although it was not perfect, the organic sound of the violin and his deep affection stunned me. I was lost in his music. Before I realized it, a guitar joined! The guitar from a young lady downstairs gave the music a more lively tone. I couldn’t help humming the familiar tune when I suddenly heard someone singing clearly and cheerfully. There was another girl volunteering as the vocalist of this mini band! Inspired by all of them, I started singing loudly. The four of us staged a live balcony concert as if on a stage with audience!

When the concert came to an end, we applauded each other’s wonderful performance and waved at each other enthusiastically. “Take care!” “Looking forward to the next performance!” were echoing in the community.

As the whole nation and even the whole world were struggling to get used to life with restrictions while fighting against the virus, lots of fabulous ideas were produced to boost people’s morale. This heartening balcony concert in my neighborhood truly entertained me and rallied the optimistic spirit. (263)

【解析】

这是一篇记叙文，要求学生根据图片叙述上周末发生在小区的一个真实故事。

第一步：审题

体裁：应用文

时态：根据提示，时态应为一般过去时。

结构：总分法

总分法指把主题句作为总说，把经过作为分说，并以这种方式安排所写内容。

要求：1. 表明主旨：上周在阳台上的音乐会。

2. 具体经过

1）是谁

2）在哪里

3) 发生了什么

4) 结果如何

第二步:列提纲 （重点词组）

take a break from；refresh one’s mind；arouse one’s curiosity；be amazed by；at this scene； couldn’t help doing；each other；as if；fade away

第三步：连词成句

1. Last weekend, an unexpected concert at the balcony made my day.

2. On Sunday afternoon, when I was taking a break from my schoolwork, a clear melody flowed in from the outside.

3. It magically refreshed my tired mind and aroused my curiosity.

4. Hoping to find its source, I went to the balcony.

5. A young man was playing his violin on the balcony across from mine, his eyes half closed in full enjoyment of the tune.

6. Amazed by his playing, I listened on and was absorbed.

7. Unexpectedly, to the melody of the violin was added a wonderful chord of guitar from another neighbor.

8. At this scene, I couldn’t help singing along and was surprised when a girl also joined with her pure voice of a child.

9. We hardly knew one another, but in our perfect harmony, we felt like old friends connected by our shared love of music.

10. Our little concert went on and on, fascinating the whole community.

11. With a closing chord on the guitar, the concert ended.

12. We smiled and waved to each other as if we had just woken up from a sweet dream of music. 13. Our shared memory of the concert at the balcony would not fade away, from which I felt the power of music to inspire and connect people.

根据提示及关键词（组）进行遣词造句，注意主谓一致和时态问题。

第四步：连句成篇（衔接词）

1.表文章结构顺序：First of all, Firstly/First, Secondly/Second… And then, Finally, In the end, At last

2.表并列补充关系：What is more, Besides, Moreover, Furthermore, In addition As well as, not only…but (also), including,

3.表转折对比关系：However, On the contrary, but, Although+clause(从句), In spite of+n/doing,On the one hand…,On the other hand… Some…,while others…,as for, so…that…

4.表因果关系：Because, As, So, Thus, Therefore, As a result

连句成文，注意使用恰当的连词进行句子之间的衔接与过渡，书写一定要规范清晰，

第五步：润色修改