分析 作文要求写一篇新闻报道.第一步,首先简单介绍活动内容;第二步,分层次介绍活动的意义和好处;第三步,提出自己的建议.本篇范文内容充实,层次清楚,语言运用得当.长短句穿插使用,错落有致,是一篇不错的新闻报道.
亮点部分
Recently an activity has been going on in our school which is called"Becoming a Guardian to Protect the Environment".(高分句型)本句带有定语从句
Recycling them is of great importance in terms of conserving natural resources,environment protection and human health.(高分句型) be+of+抽象名词结构
And we shouldn't leave the tap water running after we use it.(高分句型)running属于现在分词做宾补
解答 Recently an activity has been going on in our school which is called"Becoming a Guardian to Protect the Environment".(高分句型) Students are asked to hand in used batteries,newspaper and so on to get a card as a reward.I think we can benefit a lot from this activity.
Firstly,this activity will help to raise our environmental awareness and save resources.Secondly,the used batteries are harmful to the environment.Recycling them is of great importance in terms of conserving natural resources,environment protection and human health.(高分句型)
Meanwhile,we can still do a lot more to help protect the environment.For example,we should remember to turn off the light before we leave the room.And we shouldn't leave the tap water running after we use it.(高分句型)
点评 应该注意适当增加细节以使行文连贯,比如适当选用表示因果、递进、转折关系的连接词,使文章流畅、通顺,并避免因反复使用句式相同的简单句而造成的单调感.(1)认真审题,确定体裁. (2)构思要点.根据题目要求,理解要表达的要点.设计好文章的层次段落,考虑所用时态、人称等,把要点串联起来,构成文章框架.(3)选词造句,避难选易.(4)认真检查,避免错误.仔细阅读全文,查找是否有错,注意时态、单词拼写、字母大小写、标点是否有误,句式是否正确.逻辑是否一致.
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