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     Betty and Harold have been married for years. But one thing still puzzles old Harold. How is it that he can leave Betty and her friend Joan sitting on the sofa, talking, go out to a ball game, come back three and a half hours later, and they’re still sitting on the sofa, talking?

        What in the world, Harold wonders, do they have to talk about?

    Betty shrugs（耸肩）. Talk? We’re friends.

    Researching this matter called friendship, psychologist Lilian Rubin spent two hundred women and men. No matter what their age, their jobs, their sex, the results were completely clear: women have more friendships than men, and the difference in the content and the quality of those friendships is “marked and unmistakable”.

    More than two-thirds of the single men Rubin interviewed could not name a best friend. Those who could were likely to name a woman. Yet three-quarters of the single women had no problem naming a best friend, most trusted person, or the one they would turn to in time of emotional distress（感情危机）. “Most women,” says Rubin, “identified（认定） at least one, usually more, trusted friends to whom they could turn in a troubled moment, and they spoke openly about the importance of these relationships in their lives.”

    “In general,” writes Rubin in her new book, “women’s friendships with each other rest on shared emotions and support, but men’s relationships are marked by shared activities. “For the most part, Rubin says, interactions（交往） between men are emotionally controlled – a good fit with the social requirements of “manly behavior”.

    “Even when a man is said to be a best friend,” Rubin writes, “the two share little about their innermost feelings. Whereas a woman’s closest female friend might be the first to tell her to leave a failing marriage, it wasn’t unusual to hear a man say he didn’t know his friend’s marriage was in serious trouble until he appeared on night asking if he could sleep on the sofa.”

    1. What old Harold cannot understand or explain is the fact that _________.

       A. he is treated as an outsider rather than a husband

       B. women have so much to share

       C. women show little interest in ball games

       D. he finds his wife difficult to talk to

    2. Rubin’s study shows that for emotional support a married woman is more likely to turn to _______.

       A. a male friend             B. a female friend

       C. her parents               D. her husband

    3. According to the text, which type of behavior is NOT expected of a man by society?

       A. Ending his marriage without good reason.

       B. Spending too much time with his friends.

       C. Complaining about his marriage trouble.

       D. Going out to ball games too often.

    4. Which of the following statements is best supported by the last paragraph?

       A. Men keep their innermost feelings to themselves.

       B. Women are more serious than men about marriage.

       C. Men often take sudden action to end their marriage.

       D. Women depend on others in making decisions.

    5. The research done by psychologist Rubin centres around _________.

       A. happy and successful marriages

       B. friendships of men and women

       C. emotional problems in marriage

       D. interactions between men and women

    BBCAB

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    Pacing and Pausing
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    Pacing and Pausing

    Sara tried to befriend her old friend Steve's new wife, but Betty never seemed to have anything to say. While Sara felt Betty didn't hold up her end of the conversation, Betty complained to Steve that Sara never gave her a chance to talk. The problem had to do with expectations about pacing and pausing.

    Conversation is a turn-taking game. When our habits are similar, there's no problem. But if our habits are different, you may start to talk before I'm finished or fail to take your turn when I'm finished. That's what was happening with Betty and Sara.

    It may not be coincidental that Betty, who expected relatively longer pauses between turns, is British, and Sara, who expected relatively shorter pauses, is American. Betty often felt interrupted by Sara. But Betty herself became an interrupter and found herself doing most of the talking when she met a visitor from Finland. And Sara had a hard time cutting in on some speakers from Latin America or Israel.

    The general phenomenon, then, is that the small conversation techniques, like pacing and pausing, lead people to draw conclusions not about conversational style but about personality and abilities. These habitual differences are often the basis for dangerous stereotyping (思维定式). And these social phenomena can have very personal consequences. For example, a woman from the southwestern part of the US went to live in an eastern city to take up a job in personnel. When the Personnel Department got together for meetings, she kept searching for the right time to break in --- and never found it. Although back home she was considered outgoing and confident, in Washington she was viewed as shy and retiring. When she was evaluated at the end of the year, she was told to take a training course because of her inability to speak up.

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    B. Betty was an interrupter.

    C. Betty did not take her turn.

    D. Betty paid no attention to Sara.

    2.According to the passage, who are likely to expect the shortest pauses between turns?

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    3.We can learn from the passage that ______.

    A. communication breakdown results from short pauses and fast pacing

    B. women are unfavorably stereotyped in eastern cities of the US

    C. one's inability to speak up is culturally determined sometimes

    D. one should receive training to build up one's confidence

     

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    Researching this matter called friendship, psychologist Lillian Rubin spent two years interviewing more than two hundred women and men. the results were completely clear: women have more friendships than men. Rubin's study shows that for emotional support a married woman is more likely to turn to a female friend.

    "In general," writes Rubin in her new book, "women's friendships with each other lie on shared emotions and support, but men's relationships are marked by shared activities.”

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    A．he is treated as an outsider rather than a husband

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    C．women show little interest in ballgames

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    B．a female friend

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    A．Ending his marriage without good reason.

    B．Spending too much time with his friends.

    C．complaining about his marriage trouble.

    D．going out to ballgames too often..

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    B．friendships of men and women

    C．emotional problems in marriage

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    Betty and Harold have been married for years.But one thing still puzzles old Harold.How is it that he can leave Betty and her friend Joan sitting on the sofa,talking,go out to a ballgame,come back three and a half hours later,and they’re still sitting on the sofa?Talking?

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    Betty shrugs.Talk?We’re friends.

    Researching this matter called friendship,psychologist Lilian Rubin spent two years interviewing more than two hundred women and men.No matter what their age,their job,their sex,the results were completely clear:women have more friendships than men,and the difference in the content and the quality of those friendships is “marked and unmistakable.”

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    “Even when a man is said to be a best friend,”Robin writes,“the two share little about their innermost feelings.Whereas a woman’s closest female friend might be the first to tell her to leave a failing marriage, it wasn’t unusual to hear a man say he didn’t know his friend’s marriage was in serious trouble until he appeared one night asking if he could sleep on the sofa.”

    1.What old Harold cannot understand or explain is the fact that_____.

    A．he is treated as an outsider rather than a husband

    B．women show little interest in ballgames

    C．women have so much to share

    D．he finds his wife difficult to talk to

    2.Rubin’s study shows that for emotional support a married woman is more likely to  turn to _____.

    A．a male friend

    B．her parents

    C．a female friend

    D．her husband

    3.According to the text,which type of behavior is NOT expected of a man by society?

    A．Ending his marriage without good reason.

    B．Complaining about his marriage trouble.

    C．Spending too much time with his friends.

    D．Going out to ballgames too often.

    4.Which of the following statements is best supported by the last paragraph?

    A．Women are more serious than men about marriage.

    B．Men keep their innermost feelings to themselves.

    C．Men often take sudden action to end their marriage.

    D．Women depend on others in making decisions.

    5.The research done by psychologist Rubin centers around_____.

    A．friendships of men and women

    B．happy and successful marriages

    C．emotional problems in marriage

    D．interactions between men and women

     

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