Question

Better Left Unsaid

<    Here is an opinion column from a magazine about how honest people should be with their families and friends.  Read it carefully, more than once if you want, but do not worry if there are words you do not understand as long as you get the general meaning.

    During the past ten or fifteen years a great deal of attention has been given to “telling it like it is,” or “letting it all hang out.” My impression is that this overzealous devotion to speaking one’s mind has more often led to hurt feelings and ruined relationships than to great joy and fulfillment.

    I think we generally agree that never expressing real feelings and repressing all less- than- lovely thoughts about each other hardly leads to constructive communication. It’s a great relief to allow ourselves the luxury of acknowledging our human frailties and pursuing more honest relationships with others. But we need to strike a balance between telling it all and telling nothing.

    Recently I received a letter from a mother who had been persuaded by her troubled twenty- five - year- old son to attend a weekend marathon with him. Under pressure from the group, her defenses collapsed and she heard herself telling her son for the first time that he had had an accident-that she hadn’t been planning to have a child．He in turn told her that he couldn’t recall a single day in his childhood that he’d been happy.

    “At that time,” this woman wrote, “it seemed helpful. We cried and we made up; I thought telling the truth had been good for us. But the trouble is, it was’t the whole truth. By the time Tommy was born I did want him, and at times he was happy. Ever since that day, we’ve both been haunted by some terrible feelings we shared.”

    I must admit I’ve come to the conclusion that some things are better left unsaid．Honesty is a fine policy as long as we know what the truth really is, but most of the time we don’t. It’s a fine goal to encourage children to express their real feelings. And many marriages have been saved by an open confrontation of deep and painful misunderstandings. But we need a new sense of balance. Disclosure is not a panacea for every problem nor even an end in itself. It’s useful and freeing under some circumstances and terribly hurtful and damaging under others.

    It’s a good idea, I think, to bite your tongue for ten or fifteen minutes before saying what is on your mind．Try to decide whether it’ s going to open up new and better avenues of communication or leave wounds that may never heal.

    Notes:

    letting it all bang out: saving exactly how you feel

    devotion to: belief in　　 frailties: weaknesses

    marathon: non- stop meeting where people try to solve their psychological problems by talking in a group (an unusual meaning of this word)

    made up: became friends again

    disclosure: telling something that has been a secret.

A．Do you have the main ideas?

    Here are six sentences. Only four of them express important ideas from the text. The other ideas are in the text, but they are not the author’s main concerns. Choose the four main points, and compare answers with some other students before discussing them with your teacher.

    1) What seems to be the whole truth may in fact be only part of it.

    2) It is relief to admit our weaknesses.

    3) It is sometimes good to say exactly what’s on your mind.

    4) You should think carefully before “telling it like it is.”

    5) Sometimes it can hurt more than help to say what you think or feel.

    6) It is good to encourage children to express their real feelings.

B．Guessing words from context

    Match each word or expression in italics in column A with the meaning in column B that comes closest to it. Column B has some extra meanings:

CLOUMN A

    1)... this overzealous devotion to speaking one’s mind... (line 5)

    2)... the luxury of acknowledging  our human frailties... (line 12)

    3)... we’ve both been haunted by some terrible feelings... (line 24)

    4) Honesty is a fine policy... (line 27)

    5) And many marriages have been saved by an open confrontation of deep and painful misunderstandings. (line 70)

    6) Disclosure is not a panacea for every problem ... (line 31)

    7) It’s good idea, I think, to bite your tongue for ten or fifteen minutes... (line 33)

    8)... or leave wounds that may never heal. (line 35)

COLUMN B

　　 a) discussion

　　 b) hurt places

　　 c) helped

　　 d) too enthusiastic

　　 e) way of acting

　　 f) weak

　　 g) words

　　 h) solution

　　 i) hurt yourself

　　 j) avoid speaking

　　 k) worried

　　 1) thinking about

　　 m) taking openly about

 

Answer 1

答案：A: (1) (3) (4) (5) B: 1. d 2. m 3. k 4. e 5. a 6. h 7. j 8. b
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