Question

16．假如你是李华，你的笔友Mike 从媒体上得知前段时间全国多地包括宁波等地出现雾霾，非常担心，写E-mail询问有关情况，请你回复．回复应包括以下要点：
1．实况描述        2．影响和成因      3．生活启示
注意：1．词数：100-120词． E-mail的开头与结尾已给出，不计入总词数．
2．生词：雾霾 haze
Dear Mike，
Thank you very much for your concern． 
…
                                             
Yours，
Li Hua．

Answer 1

分析 本文是书信类提纲作文，根据所提供的材料信息，写一封信．告知笔友Mike前段时间全国多地包括宁波等地出现雾霾的相关情况．
写作要点：1实况描述．； 2．影响和成因；3．生活启示；
时态用一般现在时．人称以第一和第二人称为主．
重要短语：blanketed with（到处都是…），thank sb very much for sth（因…而感谢某人），as a result（所以），be crowded with （充满 …），have problems with（有…问题），contribute to（促成…），protect our environment（保护环境），push on…（，奋力向前…），achieve…（取得…），at the cost of…（以…为代价）．
【高分句型一】
1．Many people，especially children and seniors，even found it difficult to breathe．
  此处是由"it"作形式宾语，结构为"V+it+宾补"，动词不定式为真正的宾语，且不定式用主动形式表被动含义．
【高分句型二】
2．As a result，local hospitals were crowded with people who had problems with their noses and lungs．
 此处是由关系代词"who"引导的定语从句，先行词为"people"，关系代词"who"在定语从句中做主语．
【高分句型三】
1．To make a significant change，we really have to do more to protect our environment．
 此处是由不定式"to do"作目的状语，主句为"we really have to do more to protect our environment"．
【高分句型四】
2．①To live a better life，we have to push on with the economy，②but it would be meaningless③if we had to achieve it at the cost of our breathing air．
 ①此处是由不定式"to do"作目的状语，主句为"we have to push on with the economy"．
       ②此处是由转折连词"but"引导的两个并列句．
③此处是由连词"if"引导的条件状语从句，主句为"it would be meaningless"．

解答 Dear Mike，
Thank you very much for your concern．Recently many places in China including Ningbo were blanketed with thick yellow haze．Everything around disappeared from our sight．Some highways were closed．Traffic jams were commonly seen in the streets．Many people，especially children and seniors，even found it difficult to breathe．【高分句型一】（实况描述）
As a result，local hospitals were crowded with people who had problems with their noses and lungs．【高分句型二】Part of the cause was the dry weather，but the severely damaged environment contributed a lot to this nightmare．（影响和成因）
To make a significant change，we really have to do more to protect our environment．【高分句型三】To live a better life，we have to push on with the economy，but it would be meaningless if we had to achieve it at the cost of our breathing air．【高分句型四】（生活启示）                                                                
                                                Yours，
                                                Li Hua

点评 提纲作文在写作时要注意内容是否包含了所有要点．写作时注意准确运用时态，上下文意思连贯，符合逻辑关系，尽量使用自己熟悉的单词句式，同时也要注意使用高级词汇和高级句型使文章显得更有档次，平时需注意积累短语和重要句型．