【题目】假设你要参加所在年级的英文写作比赛,请按如下要求完成下面短文:
1.简要描述下图内容,并点明主题;
2.联系实际,表达该图带给我们的启示。
注意:1.词数100左右;
2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
参考词汇:急救中心the Medical Emergency
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【答案】A little kid fell into the lake while she was playing with her little friends.They were too frightened to know what to do next.Luckily, a teenage girl and a pretty lady passed by and saw the drowning girl.The lady dived into the water and took the kid to the bank with difficulty and at the same time, the teenage girl called the Medical Emergency Center in time.Before the ambulance came, the lady who proved to be a nurse later performed first aid to the kid.A few minutes later, the kid was taken into the nearest hospital at once and was saved.The story is a good example in which first aid makes a big difference.From it, we know it is necessary to know basic first aid skills so that we can be better prepared for an emergency.
【解析】本文属于图画作文。图画作文的写作要领:1、根据提示,准确审题。要注意文体,人物和时态。2、认真读图,把握情境,进行图文转换。这是关键。要根据图画中的人物及背景,确定人物之间,人物与背景之间的关系。从整体上把握所呈现的主要内容,围绕特定的主题合理想象。然后将图画所传达的信息以文字的形式呈现出来,并对转换后的内容重新组合,确定主要内容。 3、发表感想。围绕主题展开合理的想象,发表自己的联想或感想。4、确定段落,拟好提纲,斟酌词句,组句成文。
亮点分析:文章要点齐全,写作层次清楚,以时间顺序展开全文,能紧扣图片要点,上下文连贯。在表达句式上,注意了句式结构的多变,既有主动语态又用被动语态。既简单句又了复杂句,还有大量的复合句,如定语从句,状语从句和常用句型,句式灵活生动而丰富多彩。固定短语的的使用,如fall into;dived into ;make a big difference;perform first aid to;beprepared for等,简单中不乏显示出较强的基本功和语言运用能力。所运用的句型如下:
文中运用了复杂句:Before the ambulance came, the lady who proved to be a nurse later performed first aid to the kid.(复杂句有一个状语从句Before the ambulance came,和一个定语从句the lady who proved to be a nurse later performed first aid to the kid)。另外还有状语从句A little kid fell into the lake while she was playing with her little friends。 定语从句:The story is a good example in which first aid makes a big difference。结果状语从句:we know it is necessary to know basic first aid skills so that we can be better prepared for an emergency。 同时还运用Too…to…固定结构:They were too frightened to know what to do next.还有被动语态:A few minutes later, the kid was taken into the nearest hospital at once and was saved.
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删除:把多余的词用斜线(\)划掉。
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