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【题目】假设你是李华,在一个礼品网站为你的姐姐订购了一份生日礼物。礼物是一个标有姓名、生日及祝福语的有卡通动物形象的粉色杯子。收到礼物后你和姐姐都很满意。请给你的英国笔友Johnson写一封邮件,内容包括以下要点:

1.描述网购的礼物;

2.介绍网上支付及配送情况;

3.谈谈你对网上购物的看法。

注意:1.100个词左右;开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数;

2.可适当增加细节,以使行文连贯;

3.参考词汇:支付宝安全控件Alipay Security Control.

Dear Johnson,

I ordered a birthday gift for my sister on the Internet three days ago.

.

.

.

I’m looking forward to your early reply.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

【答案】

Dear Johnson,

I ordered a birthday gift for my sister on the Internet three days ago. It was a beautiful pink cup decorated with my sisters name, her date of birth, and some best wishes to her as well. It was so lovely a cup with a picture of a cartoon dog on it that both my sister and I liked it at first sight.

Besides, I am very satisfied with Alipay Security Control, which is very convenient and safe. And so is the delivery service. I have received the cup within two days. Dont you think its very fast?

I have enjoyed shopping online very much through this experience. There is no doubt that more and more people prefer shopping online nowadays. We dont have to spend much time going to the shops or markets with such a good variety of choices on the Internet. Agree with me?

Im looking forward to your early reply.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

【解析】

试题分析:本文的写作重在理顺所写内容的编排,可以采用三段式的文体。首先对我前几日所购买的生日礼物进行描述,简单描写一下它的外形及装饰(decorate);进而对网上购物的支付和配送服务进行介绍,表达自己对支付宝这种支付方式非常满意和放心;最后,发表自己对网上购物的看法,可以从越来越多的人们都进行网上购物并且它非常的安全方便方面进行介绍。写作过程中注意语言的亲切,注意互动,因为这属于书信类文体,可适当使用疑问句来增加亲切感。本文的写作用注意对不会的表达进行替换,同时注意避免使用中式英文和硬译。对于高中作文的写作要注意多使用被动,倒装、虚拟来提升作文的美度。在平时写作时应该多进行阅读,对阅读过程中写的好的表达要进行积累,并且学以致用,勤积累,多背诵,这样才能作文才能稳步的提升。

【亮点说明】

文中使用合适的副词把各要点联系成文,如besides;也使用了一些高级的词汇词组如date of birth, be satisfied with, look forward to, spend time doing sth.等以提升文章的档次分。本文结构紧凑,层次分明,而且使用了多种句式和结构。比如There is no doubt that运用了同位语从句;which is very convenient and safe运用了定语从句。

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