【题目】请你以“My Father”为题,用英语写一篇100词左右的短文,要点如下:
我的父亲是位医生,工作勤恳,经常早出晚归,他不仅对自己而且对工作严格要求,他总是为病人着想,为病人减轻痛苦。他决心把自己的一生都献给医学事业。喜欢读书,爱好音乐。
适当增加细节,使行文连贯。词数100左右。
(参考词汇:解除痛苦:relief/reduce pain 取得巨大成就:achieve great success医学事业:medical career
My father
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【答案】My father
My father is forty-three years old. He is a tall man with a pair of glasses. He is a doctor who works very hard. He goes out early and comes back at dusk/late. He is not only strict with himself, but also responsible for his work. He spares no efforts to reduce pain for his patients. He has achieved great success in his work. He is determined to devote himself to the medical career. In his free time, he likes reading books and often takes notes on important points. Finally, he came out a book last year. Besides, he likes playing basketball, swimming as well as listening to music to relax.
【解析】这是一篇提纲类作文。同学们在写这篇文章时,
要注意以下几点:1.由于主题是“My Father”为题,写人的作文一般都以一般现在时。
2. 文章的要点也基本上都给出来了:我的父亲是位医生,工作勤恳,经常早出晚归,他不仅对自己而且对工作严格要求,他总是为病人着想,为病人减轻痛苦。他决心把自己的一生都献给医学事业。喜欢读书,爱好音乐。考生要把要点全交代,不能有遗漏。
3.要拓展内容,在写作的过程中,要注意使用高级词汇和高级句型,如强调句,倒装句等,让文章更上档次。
4.同时在列举措施的时候要使用合适的连接词如:First,second, Besides, What’s more等,让文章看起来很有条理,也很流畅。本篇文章在写作时不要啰嗦,力求简洁。
【范文亮点】
1.高级短语的使用:spares no efforts ;achieve great success; is determined to 和连接词的使用:Finally; Besides,
2.He is not only strict with himself, but also responsible for his work.中的 not only...but also的使用
3.he likes playing basketball, swimming as well as listening to music to relax.
动词的并列的使用
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删除:把多余的词用斜线(\)划掉。
修改:在错的词下划一横线,并在该词下面写出修改后的词。
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