4.Is True Friendship Dying Away?
Just as our daily life is becoming more technologically connected,we are losing other more meaningful relationship.
To anyone paying attention these days,it's clear that social media-whether Twitter,Facebook,or Iinkedln-are changing the way we conduct relationship.Face-to-face chatting is giving way to texting and messaging; people even prefer these electronic exchanges to,for instance,simply talking on a phone.Among these smaller trends,growing research suggests we could be entering a period of crisis for the entire concept of friendship.Where is all this leading modern-day society?Perhaps to a dark place,a lonelier society where electronic craze slowly replaces the joys of human contact.
Typically,the pressures of urban life are blamed.Witness crowded bars and restaurants after work:We have plenty of acquaintances,though perhaps few individuals we can turn to and share close relationships.American sociologists have tracked related trends on a broader scale,well beyond the urban jungle.According to work published in the American Sociological Review,the average American has only two close friends,and a quarter don't have any.
While social networking sites and the like have grown dramatically,the crucial element is the quality of the connections they establish.A connection may only be a click away,but establishing a good friendship takes more.It seems common sense to conclude that"friending"online brings about shallow relationships as the term"friending"itself implies.
No single person is at fault,of course.The pressures on friendship today are broad.They arise from the demands of work,or a general busyness that means we have less quality time for others.How many individuals would say that friendship is the most important thing in their lives,only to move thousands of miles across the continent to take up a better-paid job?
Of course,we learn how to make friends or not in our childhood.Recent studies on childhood and how the contemporary life of the child affects friendships are illuminating(启示).A central conclusion often reached relates to a lack of what is called"unstructured time".Structured time results from the way an average day is arranged for our kids-time for school,time for homework,time for music practice,even time for play.Yet too often today,no period is left unstructured.After all,who these days lets his child just wander off down the street?We simply"hang out",with no tasks,no deadlines and no pressures.It is in those moments that children and adults alike can get to know others for who they are in themselves.
Aristotle had an attractive expression to capture the thought:close friends,he observed,"share salt together."It's not just that they sit together,passing the salt across the meal table.It's that they sit with one another across the course of their lives,sharing its moments,bitter and sweet."The desire for friendship comes quickly; friendship does not."Aristotle also remarked.
If there is a secret to close friendship,that's it.Put down the device; engage the person.Title:Is True Friendship Dying Away?