Question

12．假如你是李华，请就本校食堂服务（canteen service）的状况给校长写一封信．内容包括：
优点：食堂干净；饭菜可口；服务态度好不足：价格偏高；种类偏少；等候时间较长建议：…注意：1．词数100左右；2．开头和结尾已为你写好．
Dear Mr Principal，
I am a senior student of our school．I'd like to say something about the canteen service in our school．
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Sincerely yours，
Li Hua．

Answer 1

分析 本文属于应用文写作，根据所给要点和开头，就本校食堂服务（canteen service）的状况给校长写一封信，内容包括：优点：食堂干净；饭菜可口；服务态度好不足：价格偏高；种类偏少；等候时间较长建议：…属提纲作文．在写作时人称以第一人称为主．时态以一般现在时为主．
重点词汇：in general（总之，通常）；What's more（而且）； a variety of （各种各样的）；In addition（另外，此外）； solve problems （解决问题）；
                 so that（以便于）．
高分句型：1．What's more，the workers there treat us as their friends，which makes us feel very happy．
                which引导定语从句，关系代词which指代the workers there treat us as their friends这件事．
                 2．However，we feel the price of the meals is a little too high．Besides，we can all only have a limited variety of dishes with little changes every week．In addition，we often have to stand in line for a long time before we can get the meal．
                  However，…Besides，…In addition，…这几个时间副词的使用增加了句子的条理性和层次性．

解答 Dear Mr．Principal，
    I'm a senior student of our school．I'd like to say something about the canteen in our school．
    In general，the service is satisfactory．The hall is clean and tidy．The dishes tastes delicious．What's more，the workers there treat us as their friends，which makes us feel very happy（高分句型一）．讲述优点．
    However，we feel the price of the meals is a little too high．Besides，we can all only have a limited variety of dishes with little changes every week．In addition，we often have to stand in line for a long time before we can get the meal（高分句型二）．You could understand how precious time is to students．Therefore，may I suggest something  to solve the problems so that we can all enjoy our meals at school？指出不足和建议．
    Thanks for your consideration．
Sincerely yours，
Li Hua

点评 提纲作文在写作时要注意内容是否覆盖了所给要点．写作时注意准确运用时态，使得上下文意思连贯，尽量使用自己熟悉的单词句式，使文章浅显易懂，同时也要注意使用高级词汇和高级句型使文章显得更有档次．