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　　It may help you to know that there is no such thing as a perfect speech．At some point in every speech, every speaker says something that is not understood exactly as he has planned．Fortunately, the moments are usually not obvious to the listeners．Why? Because the listeners do not know what the speaker plans to say．They hear only what the speaker does say．If you lose your place for a moment, wrongly change the order of a couple of sentences, or forget to pause at a certain point, no one will be any the wiser．When such moments occur, don't worry about them．Just continue as if nothing happened．

　　Even if you do make an obvious mistake during a speech, that don't really matter．If you have ever listened to Martin Luther King's famous speech–“I have a dream”, you may notice that he stumble(结巴)his words twice during the speech．Most likely, however, you don't remember．Why? Because you were fixing your attention on its message rather than on his way of speech-making．People care a lot about making mistakes in a speech because they regard speech-making as a kind of performance rather than as an act of communication．They feel the listeners are like judges in an ice-skating competition．But, in fact, the listeners are not looking for a perfect performer．They are looking for a well-thought-out speech that expresses the speaker's ideas clearly and directly．Sometimes a mistake or two can actually increase a speaker's attractiveness by making him more human．

　　As you work on your speech, don't worry about being imperfect．Once you free your mind of this, you will find it much easier to give your speech freely．

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How to Make the Most of Your Time

　　Time management is important in our daily life．There never seems to be enough hours in the day to accomplish all you need to do．Here are some tips that might be of some help to you．

　　1．Set up a plan．Go for a week at a time, and prioritize the most important ones．Include things you want to accomplish．Focus mostly on the things that are important to you．

　　2．Control your stress．No matter what kind of pressure mounts on you, try to keep cool．Stressing out can lead to an early breakdown, which is definitely counter-productive(事与愿违)when you have a list of things to do．It's easier to take a 10-minute break and cool off than work all week with built up stress．

　　3．Shut your door．When working under a schedule, perform your important tasks with your door shut to get them done．This will ensure a better quality time to get what needs to be done, done．

　　4．Focus on one thing at a time．Forget trying to multi-task!You will lose concentration, and it will take you longer to accomplish what you set out to do．

　　5．Just say“no．”If you are constantly interrupted, and you really don't have the time to help out, just say“no．”You're only one person, and you can't save the world by yourself!

　　6．Stop wasting time on the phone．While talking on the phone, keep your conversations short, and to the point and you'll waste much less time．

　　7．Be realistic．You can only do what you can do．Don't set out to accomplish the impossible．Do your best, but keep realistic expectations of yourself．

　　8．Relax．The most important thing is remember to take time to relax, and regroup．You need a break every now and then to keep working efficiently．Even if it's a 10-minute walk, get away from your list and get refreshed．

　　As families today get busier and busier, it's important to your own mental health to keep things on track．Don't delay; get your life in order now．

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　　“The first and best of victories is for a man to conquer himself; to be conquered by himself is, of all things, the most shameful,”says Plato．Self-control is at the root of all the advantages．Let a man give in to his impulses and feelings, and from that moment he gives up his moral freedom．

　　A single angry word has lost many a friend．When Socrates found in himself any temper or anger, he would check it by speaking low in order to control himself．If you are conscious of being angry, keep your mouth shut so that you can hold back rising anger．Many a person has dropped dead in great anger．Fits of anger bring fits of disease．“Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad．”“Keep cool,”says George Herbert,“for fierceness makes error a fault．”

　　To be angry with a weak man is to prove that you are not strong yourself．“Anger,”says Pythagoras,“bring with folly(愚蠢)and ends with regret．”You must measure the strength of a man by the power of the feelings he conquers, not by the power of those which conquer him．

　　Self-control is man's last greatest victory．

　　If a man lacks self-control, he seems to lack everything．Without it he can have no patience, no power to govern himself; he can have no self-confidence, for he will always be controlled by his strongest feeling．If he lacks self-control, the very backbone and nerve of character are lacking also．

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　　Once I spoke at a high school．After the speech, I was asked to see a special student．An illness had kept the boy home, but he had expressed an interest in meeting me, and it would mean a great deal to him．I agreed．

　　He was Matthew．When he was born, the doctor told his parents that he would not live to see five, then they were told he would not make it to ten．Now he was thirteen．He wanted to meet me because I was a gold-medal weight lifter, and I knew about overcoming obstacles(障碍)and going for my dreams．

　　I spent over an hour talking to Matthew．Never once did he complain．He spoke about winning and succeeding and going for his dreams．Obviously, he knew what he was talking about．He just talked about his hopes for the future, and how one day he wanted to lift weight with me．

　　When we finished talking, I went to my briefcase and pulled out the first gold medal I won and put it ound his neck．I told him he was more of a winner and knew more about success and overcoming obstacles than I ever would．He looked at it for a moment, then took it off and handed it back to me．He said,“You are a champion．You earned that medal．Someday when I get to the Olympics and win my own medal, I will show it to you．”

　　Last summer I got the news that Matthew had passed away and a letter Matthew had written me a few days before：

　　Dear Rick,

　　My mom said I should send you a thank-you letter for the picture you sent me．The doctors tell me that I don't have long to live any more．But I still smile as much as I can．

　　I told you some day I was going to the Olympics and win a gold medal．But I know now I'll never make it．But I know I'm a champion, and God knows that too．When I get to Heaven, God will give me my medal and when you get there, I will show it to you．

　　Thank you for loving me．

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　　Gossip moves so quickly that few people have time to cover their ears, even if they want to．

　　“I hate it when others gossip about me,”said Mandy Miraglia, 16, a high school student from California,“but to be honest, gossip about my friends makes me feel I am trusted and belong to the group．”Miraglia is not the only person feeling like that．

　　Gossip has long been looked down on as little more than nonsense and bad manners．But recent research has shown that gossip has many positive effects on your social life．

　　“There has been a trend among people to dislike gossip,”said David Sloan Wilson, Professor from the State University of New York in Binghamton, US,“but gossip appears to be a very important form of behavior in a group of friends, defining their group membership．”

　　For 18 months, Kevin Kniffin, from the University of Wisconsin, US, researched the behavior of 50 people．He found that gossip levels peaked when a sports team included a slacker, someone who regularly missed practices or showed up late．Other members of the team would soon start to joke about the slacker's shortcomings behind his back, because they thought they were bad for the whole team．

　　Gossip about the mistakes of senior members helps newcomers rebuild their confidence after a failure．

　　It also helps relieve social and professional anxiety．Long-term studies show that people around the world devote from a fifth to two-thirds or more of their daily conversation to gossip, and men appear to be just as eager for gossip as women．

　　It is hard to judge gossip, but it is more powerful than you think．

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　　Wherever you go, there you are．This is the title of a fantastic book by JonKabat Zinn．Often when going through a difficult time, some think about making a major change, a change of a job or residence．Will this really help? Of course if you are being abused or stressed, such action may work．But for the most part, if we change nothing about ourselves, we merely take what is inside of us wherever we wander．

　　In therapy(心理疗法), I have seen individuals who have literally taken geographic treatment, making a major change out of their city or state．What was most discovered was that at first, the change was fun and exciting．But after a period of time, after the“newness”wore off they still saw people as they had seen them before．If they felt taken advantage of, they still felt that way．If they had low self-esteem, they felt the same way．

　　Is there an answer to this problem? Work on yourself first．In 12-step programs, we say no major changes for a year．That is because people need to see who they really are without their addiction．And it takes about a year to give up your system and to find out who you really are emotionally．

　　Taking some time to clearly focus and see what the real issues are is very important．A quick change without any forethought is often merely an escape from reality．

　　And remember, happiness is an inside job．

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　　How do you feel after you've stayed up late to finish schoolwork? Or the day after a slumber party? Scientists now say that your answers to these questions may depend on your genes．

　　Genes are stretches of DNA that work like an instruction manual for our cells．Genes tell our bodies and brains what to do．People have about 40,000 genes, and each gene can have different forms．So, for example, certain forms of some genes make your eyes blue．Other versions of those genes make your eyes brown．

　　In a similar way, new research suggests that a gene called period3 affects how well you function without sleep．The discovery adds to older evidence that period3 helps determine whether you like to stay up late or get up early．

　　The period3 gene comes in two forms：short and long．Everyone has two copies of the gene．So, you may have two longs, two shorts, or one of each．Your particular combination depends on what your parents passed on to you．

　　Scientists from the University of Surrey in England studied 24 people who had either two short or two long copies of period3．Study participants had to stay awake for 40 hours straight．Then, they took tests that measured how quickly they pushed a button when numbers flashed on a screen and how well they could remember lists of numbers．

　　Results showed that the people with the short form of period3 performed much better on these tests than the people with the long form did．In both groups, people performed worst in the early morning．That's the time when truck drivers and other night-shift workers say they have the most trouble concentrating．

　　After the first round of experiments, participants were finally allowed to sleep．People in the group that performed well on the tests took about 18 minutes to nod off．

　　People with the long period3 gene, by contrast, fell asleep in just 8 minutes．They also spent more time in deep sleep．That suggests that people with the long form of the gene need more and deeper sleep to keep their brains working at top form．

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　　“I've changed my mind．I wanted to have a telescope, but now I want my dad back．”Lucien Lawrence's letter to Father Christmas, written after his father had been knifed to death outside his school gate, must have touched everyone's heart．Lucien went on to say that without his father he couldn't see the stars in the sky．When those we love depart from us, we cannot see the stars for a while．

　　But Lucien, the stars are still there, and one day, when you are older and your tears have gone, you will see them again．And, in a strange way, I expect that you will find your father there too, either in your mind or heart．I find that my parents, who died years ago, still linger(留连)in many of my dreams and that I think of them perhaps more than I ever did when they were alive．I still live to please them and I'm still surprised by their reactions．I remember that when I became a professor, I was so proud, or rather so pleased with myself that I couldn't wait to cable my parents．The reply was a long time in coming, but when it did, all my mother said was“I hope this means that now you will have more time for the children!”I haven't forgotten．The values of my parents still live on．

　　It makes me pause and think about how I will live on in the hearts and minds of my children and of those for whom I care．Would I have been as ready as Philip Lawrence has been to face the aggressors, and to lay down my life for those in my care? How many people would want me back for Christmas? It's a serious thought, which gives me pause．

　　I pray silently, sometimes, in the dead of night, that ancient cry of a poet“Deliver my soul from the sword and my darling from the power of the dog．”Yet I know death comes to us all, and sometimes comes suddenly．We must therefore plan to live together, but live as if we will die tomorrow．We live on, I'm sure, in the lives of those we loved, and therefore we ought to have a care for what they will remember and what they will treasure．If more parents knew this in their hearts to be true, there might be fewer knives on our streets today．

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　　You are from a middle- class family, and live in a normal-size home without any showy possessions, but you are surrounded by surprising consumption(消费)．This contrast is beginning to bother your 6-year-old son．You are worried that he will want to live as they do, and wonder if you should move．

　　Sometimes big pocket money, joyful birthday parties, special playrooms and super-big houses tell you that your neighbors probably have more money than you do, and that they're not as careful as you are with money, but you may find that they cook and dig in the garden with their children just as often as you do, talk with them as freely and read to them every night．

　　Or you may find that some of these parents stay in one wing of their big house while their child plays by himself, way off in a wing of his own．In that unfortunate case, he is basically growing up alone without being looked after properly, but this can happen to a child who lives in a normal-size house, too, if he has a TV, a computer and a few video games in his room．Even the most caring parent doesn't walk in and out of it to see what show her child is watching, what Internet site he has found and if he's still playing that video game．

　　Too much uncontrolled screen time may lead to a certain loss of innocence(天真), but mostly this child will lose the sense of unity and satisfaction, and if it doesn't, you might decide to move．Don't judge your neighborhood too harshly(严厉地)，though．There are some things that are right with almost any neighborhood and some things that are wrong with the best of them－like those super-big houses．The wealth of their owners－and the way they throw money around－may make your son feel sorry for himself, unless you help him understand that you and his dad save some of the money, give some to people who don't have enough and use the rest to pay for whatever the family needs．

　　Children want－should be provided with－explanations when their parents don't give them what they want．

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