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When someone gives you advice, listen without judgment, try to find value in what you're hearing, and say “Thank you”.This wise advice is easy to understand yet hard to practice.I'll give you an example from my life when I totally blew it in terms of practicing what I teach.
In my work I travel constantly.I always put off going to the airport until the last second.My wife, Lynda, was sitting next to me in the front seat.I was racing along and not paying much attention.Lynda cried out, “Look out!There is a red light up ahead.”
Being a trained behavioral science professional-who teaches others the value of encouraging advice-I naturally screamed at her, “I know there is a red light up ahead!Don't you think I can see?” When we arrived at the airport, Lynda didn't speak to me.I wondered why she seemed mad at me.
During the flight to New York, I did a cost-benefit analysis.I asked myself, “What was the cost of just listening when Lynda called out the warning?Zero.” I then reasoned, “What was the potential benefit?What could have been saved?” Several potential benefits came to mind, including her life, my life, and the lives of other people.
I landed in New York feeling ashamed of myself.I immediately called Lynda and told her my cost-benefit story.I convinced her, “The next time you help me with my driving, I am just going to say, ‘Thank you.'”
A few months passed, and I had long forgotten the incident.Again, I was racing off to the airport, when Lynda cried out, “Look out for the red light!” I was embarrassed, and then shouted, “Thank you!”
I'm a long way from perfect, but I'm getting better.My suggestion is that you get in the habit of asking the important people in your life how you can do things better.And be ready for an answer.Some people may tell you things like “Look out for the red light.” When this happens, remember that there is possibly some potential benefit.Then just say, “Thank you.”