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　　Papa's jaw dropped when Mama told him that Sister had cheated on her final exams－not to succeed but to fail．“It's unbelievable!” he said．“Sister has always been so proud of her good grades!”

　　“Yes, she has,” said Mama．“But it's not unbelievable．It just shows how badly she wanted off the swimming team．”

　　“Wanted off the swimming team?” said Papa．“She never said anything about that to me．”

　　“Of course she didn't,” said Mama．“She was afraid you'd blow your top．You already had her getting a swimming scholarship to college and winning gold medals at the Olympics．Can you imagine how much pressure she must have felt? For her, being on the team couldn't have been much fun．”

　　“Oh, my gosh!” Papa said, clapping a hand to his forehead．“I've been so stupid! I just thought she'd want to be a champion swimmer because she's so good at it．”

　　“It's like anything else, dear,” said Mama．“No matter how good at it you are, if it stops being fun, you won't want to do it anymore．”

　　Papa put his head in his hands．

　　“She must be really mad at me,” he mumbled．“Maybe I should say sorry to her．”

　　Sister's footsteps could be heard on the stairs．She came into the kitchen and looked hopefully up at her parents．

　　“Honey,” said Mama with a smile, “your papa and I have decided that there's no reason for you to be on the swimming team if you don't want to．”

　　Sister's face lit up like a Christmas tree．“Yippee!” she cried．

　　“And,” added Papa, “there's no need for any more drills．I'm sure you'll bring your grades back up all by yourself．”

　　Sister ran to Papa and jumped into his arms．She gave him a big hug．“I'm going to go play cards with Lizzy!” she said．“See you later!”

　　From the kitchen window, Mama and Papa watched their daughter run down the sunny road toward Lizzy's house．

　　“It's good to see her happy again,” said Mama．

　　“It sure is,” Papa agreed．“As for the swimming team, there's always next year．”

　　“If?” Mama prompted him．

　　“Oh, right,” said Papa．“If she wants to．”

　　Mama smiled．“At least you're learning, dear,” she said．She kissed him．

　　“Well, you know what they say,” Papa said．“Better late than never．”

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　　“Have you ever heard the old saying, “Never judge a book by its cover”? This is a good rule to follow when you try to judge the cleverness of others by their looks and performance．Some people have minds that shine only in certain situations．A young man with an unusual gift in novel writing may find himself speechless before a pretty girl．But don't make the mistake of thinking he might not be that clever．With a pen and paper, he can tell what he thought very well．

　　Other people may fool you into mistakenly thinking they are clever by putting up a good front．

　　A student who listens carefully and takes notes in class is sure to make a good impression on his teachers．But when it comes to exams, he may get scores much lower than his classmates．

　　We may conclude that：you can't judge someone by appearances．The only way to tell whether a person is clever or not is to get to know him by observing(观察)how he reacts to different situations．The more situations you observe, the more accurate your judgment is likely to be．So take your time．Don't judge the book by its cover．

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　　Knowing the best way to study will help you to be a better student．By using your time properly, you can do your homework more quickly．Learning to study is not difficult．

　　The first thing to remember is that you must be willing to learn．It doesn't mean that you must always like the subject．It does mean, however, that you must be willing to do whatever is necessary to learn．Try to understand why it is important and how it will help you now and later to do and learn other things．Knowing mathematics facts will be useful in your whole life．Knowing how to spell makes any kind of writing easier．Sometimes subject that you think is going to be uninteresting will be exciting when you begin to work at it and understand it more clearly．Learning things can be fun if you are willing to work with them．

　　Here's some advice for you：have a certain time each day and a quiet place with good lighting for study, so that you can concentrate on your study without interruptions(中断); have everything ready before you sit down to study, a dictionary, paper, a pen and books; be sure you understand what you should learn before you start; read carefully and pay special attention to the most important things; when memorizing, first find out the main parts and then recite the whole thing; check your homework after you finish it; never forget the importance of review and preview．

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Welcome to our school．You can do a lot of things here．Come and join us．

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　　Ask a bachelor(单身汉)why he resists marriage even though he finds dating to be less and less satisfying．If he is honest he will tell you that he is afraid of making a commitment．For commitment is in fact quite painful．The single life is filled with fun, adventure, excitement．Marriage has such moments, but they are not its most distinguishing(显著的)features．

　　Couples with infant children are lucky to get a whole night's sleep or a three-day vacation．I don't know any parent who would choose the word fun to describe raising children．But couples who decide not to have children never know the joys of watching a child grow up or of playing with a grandchild．

　　Understanding and accepting that true happiness has nothing to do with fun is one of the most liberating realizations．It liberates(释放)time：now we can devote more hours to activities that can genuinely increase our happiness．It liberates money：buying that new car or those fancy clothes that will do nothing to increase our happiness now seems pointless．And it liberates us from envy：we now understand that all those who are always having so much fun actually may not be happy at all．

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　　Sometimes children do not do what their parents tell them to do．When this happens, a parent tries to help the child to do the right thing．When this does not work, the parent usually punishes the child．

　　There are many things that a parent can do．One thing that people have done is to spank(打屁股)the child．When a parent spanks a child, they will use their hand or a hard object to strike them on their bottom．This is meant to show the child that they have done something wrong．

　　One parent remembers being spanked when he was a child．His parents used a wooden spoon．When he spanked his own children with his hand, he saw that he put a red mark on his child's leg．He never did that again．

　　One problem with spanking is that it teaches the child to hit someone when they do not like what the other person is doing．Another problem with spanking is that the parent is usually angry and can hit the child too hard．Sometimes parents will use spanking for everything and not try other ways to get the child to do the right thing．

　　Many parents are not sure of what to do instead of spanking．Some people think that their religion(宗教)tells them that spanking is okay．Some think that the law lets them do it．The courts(法院)say that parents have the right to teach their children how to behave．

　　Other things should be tried before a parent decides to spank a child．Telling the child exactly what is wanted from them can be one thing．Giving a child more than one choice is another thing that can be tried．Getting down to the child's level and taking a more child-friendly approach(方法)can help as well．

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　　In our culture, the sources of what we call a sense of “mastery”－feeling important and worthwhile－and the sources of what we call a sense of “pleasure”－finding life enjoyable－are not always the same．Women often are told, “You can't have it all．” Sometimes what the speaker really is saying is “You choose a career, so you can't expect to have closer relationships or a happy family life”, or “You have a wonderful husband and children, so what's all this about wanting a career?” But women need to understand and develop both aspects of well-being, if they have to feel good about themselves．

　　Our study shows that, for women, well-being has two dimensions(二维)．One is mastery, which includes self-esteem, a sense of control over your life, and low levels of anxiety and depression．Mastery is closely related to the “doing” side of life, to work and activity．Pleasure is the other dimension, and it is composed of happiness, satisfaction and optimism．It is tied more closely to the “feeling” side of life．The two are independent of each other．Woman could be high in mastery and low in pleasure, and vice versa(反之亦然)．For example, a woman who has a good job, but whose mother has just died, might be feeling very good about herself and in control of her work life, but the pleasure side could be damaged for a time．

　　The concepts of mastery and pleasure could help us identify the sources of well-being for women, and correct past misunderstandings．In the past, women are encouraged to look only at the feeling side of life as the source of all well-being．But we know that both mastery and pleasure are critical．And mastery seems to be achieved largely through work．In our study, all the groups of employed women rated significantly high in mastery than did women who were not employed．

　　A woman's well-being is enhanced when she takes on multiple roles．At least by middle adulthood, the women who were involved in the combination of roles－marriage, motherhood, and employment－were the highest in well-being, in spite of warning about stress and strain．

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Intelligence Quotient

　　I．Q．stands for “Intelligence Quotient” which is a measure of a person's intelligence found by means of an intelligence test．Before marks gained in such a test can be useful as information about a person, they must be compared with some standard, or norm(规范)．It is not enough simply to know that a boy of thirteen has scored, say, ninety marks in a particular test．To know whether he is clever, average or dull, his marks must be compared with the average achieved by other boys of thirteen in that test．

　　In 1906 the psychologist, Alfred Binet(1857--1911), devised the standard by which intelligence has since been assessed．Binet was asked to find a method of selecting all children in the schools of Paris who should be taken out of ordinary classes and put in special classes for defectives(后进生)．The problem made him realize the need for a standard for measuring intelligence, and he hit upon the very simple concept of “mental age”．

　　First of all, he invented a variety of tests and put large numbers of children of different ages through them．He then found at what age each test was passed by the average child．For instance, he found that the average child of seven could count backwards from 20 to 1 and the average child of three could repeat the sentence：“We are going to have a good time in the country．” Billet arranged the various tests in order of difficulty, and used them as a scale against which he could measure every individual．If, for example, a boy aged twelve could only do tests that were passed by the average boy of nine, Binet held that he was three years below average, and that he had a mental age of nine．

　　The concept of mental age provided Binet, and through him, other psychologists, with the required standard．It enabled him to state scores in intelligence tests in terms of a norm merely by subtracting(减去)the “mental” age of a child from his “chronological” age(实际年龄)．Then the boy in the example given would be “three years retarded”(迟缓、耽误)．Later the “mental ratio” was introduced; that is to say, the ratio of the mental age to the chronological age．Thus a boy of twelve with a mental age of nine has a mental ratio of 0.75．

　　The “mental age” measurement was then replaced by the more famous I．Q(intelligence quotient)．The “I．Q．” is the mental ratio multiplied by 100．For example, a boy of twelve with a mental age of nine has an “I．Q．” of 75．Clearly, since the mental age of the average child is equal to the chronological age, the average “I．Q．” is 100．

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　　Meeting people from another culture can be difficult．From the beginning, people may send the wrong signal(信号)．Or they may pay no attention to signals from another person who is trying to develop a relationship．

　　Different cultures emphasize(强调)the importance of relationship building to a greater or lesser degree．For example, business in some countries is not possible until there is a relationship of trust．Even with people at work, it is necessary to spend a lot of time in "small talk", usually over a glass of tea, before they do any job．In many European countries－like the UK or France－people find it easier to build up a lasting working relationship at restaurants or cafes rather than at the office．

　　Talk and silence may also be different in some cultures．I once made a speech in Thailand．I had expected my speech to be a success and start a lively discussion; instead there was an uncomfortable silence．The people present just stared at me and smiled．After getting to know their ways better, I realized that they thought I was talking too much．In my own culture, we express meaning mainly through words, but people there sometimes feel too many words are unnecessary．

　　Even within Northern Europe, cultural differences can cause serious problems．Certainly, English and German cultures share similar values; however, Germans prefer to get down to business more quickly．We think that they are rude．In fact, this is just because one culture starts discussions and makes decisions more quickly．

　　People from different parts of the world have different values, and sometimes these values are quite against each other．However, if we can understand them better, a multicultural environment will offer a wonderful chance for us to learn from each other．

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　　When JayRon Grevious was in first grade, he had some trouble reading．

　　But once a week for four years, Janet Rink came to JayRon's elementary school to sit with him and help him figure out the words he didn't know through a program called Every1Reads．

　　Without Rink's help, JayRon, now a 12-year-old sixth-reader, says there are hundreds of words he might not have learned．

　　“She's loyal,” JayRon said of Rink, “She's a good friend．To me, she is like a grandmother．”

　　When Rink retired from her career as a writer, she decided she wanted to start volunteering, and she knew it had to be with children．At first, she organized a group at church to work at a homeless shelter as children's advocates．After 10 years, it became increasingly hard to get volunteers, so she looked for things she could do independently．

　　She began volunteering with Every1Reads, which takes volunteers into Louisville schools to work one-to-one with students．She also tutors eighth-graders on writing at Nativity Academy, a small private school that JayRon attends．

　　Since 2006, she has worked at The Center for Women and Families, a shelter for victims of domestic violence．Twice a week, Rink goes to the center to work with children staying there playing games and doing art projects with them．

　　“The kids just run to her,” said Janet Tinsley, the center's volunteer manager．

　　For the children, Rink, 68, said, her visits give them an opportunity to just be kids, playing and enjoying themselves despite the stresses in their lives．

　　“They come from families where they experience violence of fear,” Rink said．“This gives them a chance to explore their creativity．”

　　Rink said the experience of volunteering with children at the center has taught her about the resiliency(恢复)of the human spirit and “the ability to stay joyful．”

　　Rink said she enjoys every minute．“For me, what life should be about is making life easier and better and more fulfilling for other people．” she said．

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