Pacing and Pausing

Sara tried to befriend her old friend Steve's new wife, but Betty never seemed to have anything to say. While Sara felt Betty didn't hold up her end of the conversation, Betty complained to Steve that Sara never gave her a chance to talk. The problem had to do with expectations about pacing and pausing.

Conversation is a turn-taking game. When our habits are similar, there's no problem. But if our habits are different, you may start to talk before I'm finished or fail to take your turn when I'm finished. That's what was happening with Betty and Sara.

It may not be coincidental that Betty, who expected relatively longer pauses between turns, is British, and Sara, who expected relatively shorter pauses, is American. Betty often felt interrupted by Sara. But Betty herself became an interrupter and found herself doing most of the talking when she met a visitor from Finland. And Sara had a hard time cutting in on some speakers from Latin America or Israel.

The general phenomenon, then, is that the small conversation techniques, like pacing and pausing, lead people to draw conclusions not about conversational style but about personality and abilities. These habitual differences are often the basis for dangerous stereotyping (思维定式). And these social phenomena can have very personal consequences. For example, a woman from the southwestern part of the US went to live in an eastern city to take up a job in personnel. When the Personnel Department got together for meetings, she kept searching for the right time to break in --- and never found it. Although back home she was considered outgoing and confident, in Washington she was viewed as shy and retiring. When she was evaluated at the end of the year, she was told to take a training course because of her inability to speak up.

That's why slight differences in conversational style --- tiny little things like microseconds of pause --- can have a great effect on one's life. The result in this case was a judgment of psychological problems --- even in the mind of the woman herself, who really wondered what was wrong with her and registered for assertiveness training.

1.What did Sara think of Betty when talking with her?

A．Betty was talkative.	B．Betty was an interrupter.
C．Betty did not take her turn.	D．Betty paid no attention to Sara.

2.According to the passage, who are likely to expect the shortest pauses between turns?

A．Americans.

B．Israelis.

C．The British.

D．The Finns.

3.We can learn from the passage that ______.

A．communication breakdown results from short pauses and fast pacing

B．women are unfavorably stereotyped in eastern cities of the US

C．one's inability to speak up is culturally determined sometimes

D．one should receive training to build up one's confidence

4.The underlined word "assertiveness" in the last paragraph probably means ______.

A．being willing to speak one's mind	B．being able to increase one's power
C．being ready to make one's own judgment	D．being quick to express one's ideas confidently

 

Many parents have learned the hard way that what sounds like open communication is often the very thing that closes a youngster’s ears and mouth. One common mistake is the Lecture, the long monologue that often starts with “When I was your age….” Eighteen-year-old Kelly calls lectures “long, one-side discussions in which I don’t say much.”
Kids reflexively（条件反射地） shut down in the face of a lecture. Their eyes glaze over, and they don’t register any incoming information. Listen to 13-year-old Sarah describe her least favorite times with her mom and dad. “First, they scream. Then comes the ‘We’re so disappointed’ speech. Then the ‘I never did that to my parents’ lecture begins. After that, even if they realize how ridiculous they sound, they never take it back.”
Lines like “When you have children of your own, you’ll understand” have been seriously said by parents since time immemorial. But many of our expert parents, like Bobby, a registered nurse and mother of three, feel that by falling back on clichés（陈词滥调）to justify our actions, we weaken our position.
Since kids are creatures of here and now, the far-off future has no relevance to them. Therefore, good communicators like Bobby suggest, “Give specific reasons for your actions in present language: ‘I’m not letting you go to the party because I don’t think there will be enough adult supervisions（监护）.’”
Betty, who lives in Missiouri, uses an indirect approach. “I find that warnings are accepted more readily if I discuss a news article on a subject I am concerned about. My husband and I talk about it while our children absorb the information. Then they never think I’m preaching(布道).”
This really helped when Betty’s kids began driving. Instead of constantly repeating “Don’t drink; don’t speed,” she would talk about articles in the paper and express sympathy for the victims of a car crash. Betty made no special effort to draw her kids into the conversation. She depended on a teenager’s strong desire to put in his opinions---especially if he thinks he isn’t being asked for them.
【小题1】The purpose of the passage is to _________.

A．compare two ways of parents` communicating with their kids

B．explain why kids won’t listen to their parents

C．give parents advice on how to communicate with their kids

D．introduce kids` reaction to the communication between them and their parents

【小题2】Which of the following statements is NOT right?

A．Kids won’t listen to their parents because they think what their parents say is boring.

B．Kids don’t like any discussion at all.

C．Some kids think their parents should apologize when they are wrong.

D．Many kids think they have no right to express their own opinions.

【小题3】 What does the underlined word in the first paragraph mean?

A．讨论

B．对话

C．插话

D．独白

【小题4】Which of the following topic may appeal to kids?

A．Something related to kids’ present life

B．Kids possible life in the future

C．Parents` own experience

D．What parents have done to their own parents.

【小题5】In order to make kids follow their advice, parents should______.

A．tell their kids to listen carefully

B．arouse kids’ desire to express themselves.

C．list out as many examples as possible

D．set out their warnings directly

Pacing and Pausing

Sara tried to befriend her old friend Steve's new wife, but Betty never seemed to have anything to say. While Sara felt Betty didn't hold up her end of the conversation, Betty complained to Steve that Sara never gave her a chance to talk. The problem had to do with expectations about pacing and pausing.

Conversation is a turn-taking game. When our habits are similar, there's no problem. But if our habits are different, you may start to talk before I'm finished or fail to take your turn when I'm finished. That's what was happening with Betty and Sara.

It may not be coincidental that Betty, who expected relatively longer pauses between turns, is British, and Sara, who expected relatively shorter pauses, is American. Betty often felt interrupted by Sara. But Betty herself became an interrupter and found herself doing most of the talking when she met a visitor from Finland. And Sara had a hard time cutting in on some speakers from Latin America or Israel.

The general phenomenon, then, is that the small conversation techniques, like pacing and pausing, lead people to draw conclusions not about conversational style but about personality and abilities. These habitual differences are often the basis for dangerous stereotyping (思维定式). And these social phenomena can have very personal consequences. For example, a woman from the southwestern part of the US went to live in an eastern city to take up a job in personnel. When the Personnel Department got together for meetings, she kept searching for the right time to break in --- and never found it. Although back home she was considered outgoing and confident, in Washington she was viewed as shy and retiring. When she was evaluated at the end of the year, she was told to take a training course because of her inability to speak up.

That's why slight differences in conversational style --- tiny little things like microseconds of pause --- can have a great effect on one's life. The result in this case was a judgment of psychological problems --- even in the mind of the woman herself, who really wondered what was wrong with her and registered for assertiveness training.

1.What did Sara think of Betty when talking with her?

A. Betty was talkative.                                                       B. Betty was an interrupter.

C. Betty did not take her turn.                              D. Betty paid no attention to Sara.

2.57. According to the passage, who are likely to expect the shortest pauses between turns?

A. Americans.                     B. Israelis.                 C. The British.            D. The Finns.

3.58. We can learn from the passage that ______.

A. communication breakdown results from short pauses and fast pacing

B. women are unfavorably stereotyped in eastern cities of the US

C. one's inability to speak up is culturally determined sometimes

D. one should receive training to build up one's confidence

 

Pacing and Pausing

Sara tried to befriend her old friend Steve's new wife, but Betty never seemed to have anything to say. While Sara felt Betty didn't hold up her end of the conversation, Betty complained to Steve that Sara never gave her a chance to talk. The problem had to do with expectations about pacing and pausing.

Conversation is a turn-taking game. When our habits are similar, there's no problem. But if our habits are different, you may start to talk before I'm finished or fail to take your turn when I'm finished. That's what was happening with Betty and Sara.

It may not be coincidental that Betty, who expected relatively longer pauses between turns, is British, and Sara, who expected relatively shorter pauses, is American. Betty often felt interrupted by Sara. But Betty herself became an interrupter and found herself doing most of the talking when she met a visitor from Finland. And Sara had a hard time cutting in on some speakers from Latin America or Israel.

The general phenomenon, then, is that the small conversation techniques, like pacing and pausing, lead people to draw conclusions not about conversational style but about personality and abilities. These habitual differences are often the basis for dangerous stereotyping (思维定式). And these social phenomena can have very personal consequences. For example, a woman from the southwestern part of the US went to live in an eastern city to take up a job in personnel. When the Personnel Department got together for meetings, she kept searching for the right time to break in --- and never found it. Although back home she was considered outgoing and confident, in Washington she was viewed as shy and retiring. When she was evaluated at the end of the year, she was told to take a training course because of her inability to speak up.

That's why slight differences in conversational style --- tiny little things like microseconds of pause --- can have a great effect on one's life. The result in this case was a judgment of psychological problems --- even in the mind of the woman herself, who really wondered what was wrong with her and registered for assertiveness training.

1.What did Sara think of Betty when talking with her?

A. Betty was talkative.

B. Betty was an interrupter.

C. Betty did not take her turn.

D. Betty paid no attention to Sara.

2.According to the passage, who are likely to expect the shortest pauses between turns?

A. Americans.            B. Israelis.       C. The British.            D. The Finns.

3.We can learn from the passage that ______.

A. communication breakdown results from short pauses and fast pacing

B. women are unfavorably stereotyped in eastern cities of the US

C. one's inability to speak up is culturally determined sometimes

D. one should receive training to build up one's confidence

 

Many parents have learned the hard way that what sounds like open communication is often the very thing that closes a youngster’s ears and mouth. One common mistake is the Lecture, the long monologue that often starts with “When I was your age….” Eighteen-year-old Kelly calls lectures “long, one-side discussions in which I don’t say much.”

Kids reflexively（条件反射地） shut down in the face of a lecture. Their eyes glaze over, and they don’t register any incoming information. Listen to 13-year-old Sarah describe her least favorite times with her mom and dad. “First, they scream. Then comes the ‘We’re so disappointed’ speech. Then the ‘I never did that to my parents’ lecture begins. After that, even if they realize how ridiculous they sound, they never take it back.”

Lines like “When you have children of your own, you’ll understand” have been seriously said by parents since time immemorial. But many of our expert parents, like Bobby, a registered nurse and mother of three, feel that by falling back on clichés（陈词滥调）to justify our actions, we weaken our position.

Since kids are creatures of here and now, the far-off future has no relevance to them. Therefore, good communicators like Bobby suggest, “Give specific reasons for your actions in present language: ‘I’m not letting you go to the party because I don’t think there will be enough adult supervisions（监护）.’”

Betty, who lives in Missiouri, uses an indirect approach. “I find that warnings are accepted more readily if I discuss a news article on a subject I am concerned about. My husband and I talk about it while our children absorb the information. Then they never think I’m preaching(布道).”

This really helped when Betty’s kids began driving. Instead of constantly repeating “Don’t drink; don’t speed,” she would talk about articles in the paper and express sympathy for the victims of a car crash. Betty made no special effort to draw her kids into the conversation. She depended on a teenager’s strong desire to put in his opinions---especially if he thinks he isn’t being asked for them.

1.The purpose of the passage is to _________.

A．compare two ways of parents` communicating with their kids

B．explain why kids won’t listen to their parents

C．give parents advice on how to communicate with their kids

D．introduce kids` reaction to the communication between them and their parents

2.Which of the following statements is NOT right?

A．Kids won’t listen to their parents because they think what their parents say is boring.

B．Kids don’t like any discussion at all.

C．Some kids think their parents should apologize when they are wrong.

D．Many kids think they have no right to express their own opinions.

3. What does the underlined word in the first paragraph mean?

A．讨论             B．对话             C．插话             D．独白

4.Which of the following topic may appeal to kids?

A．Something related to kids’ present life

B．Kids possible life in the future

C．Parents` own experience

D．What parents have done to their own parents.

5.In order to make kids follow their advice, parents should______.

A．tell their kids to listen carefully

B．arouse kids’ desire to express themselves.

C．list out as many examples as possible

D．set out their warnings directly