One night I decided to spend some time building a happier and closer relationship with my daughter. For several weeks she had been   21   me to play chess(棋) with her, so I suggested a game and she eagerly   22  . It was a school night, however, and at nine o’clock my daughter asked if I could   23   my moves, because she   24   to go to bed; she had to get up at six in the morning. I   25   she had strict sleeping habits,   26   I thought she ought to be able to    27   some of this strictness. I said to her, “  28  , you can stay up late for once. We’re having  29  .” We played on for another fifteen minutes, during which time she looked   30  . Finally she said, “Please, Daddy, do it quickly.” “No,” I replied. “If you’re going to play it  31  , you’re going to play it slowly.” And so we  32  for another ten minutes, until   33   my daughter burst into tears, and   34   that she was beaten.

Clearly I had made   35  . I had started the evening wanting to have a   36 time with my daughter but had   37   my desire to win to become more    38  than my relationship with my daughter. When I was a child, my desire to win   39   me well. As a parent, I   40   that it got in my way. So I had to change.