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Meaning of Happiness

       "Are you happy?" I asked my brother, Lan, one day,

       "Yes．No．It depends what you mean," he said．

       "Then tell me," I said, "when was the last time you think you were happy?"

       "April 1967,"he said,

It served me right for putting a serious question to someone who has joked his way through life．But Lan's answer reminded me that when we think about happiness, we usually think of something extraordinary, a pinnacle（顶点） of sheer （纯粹的） delight, 71  

     72    I remember playing police and robbers in the woods, getting a speaking part in the school play．Of course, kids also experience lows, but their delight at such peaks of pleasure as winning a race or getting a new bike is unreserved．

In the teenage years, the concept of happiness changes．  73    I can still feel the pain of not being invited to a party that almost everyone else was going to．I also remember the great happiness of being invited at another event to dance with a very handsome young man．

In adulthood the things that bring great joy —birth, love, marriage —also bring responsibility and the risk of loss．Love may not last; loved ones die．For adults, happiness is complex．

My dictionary defines "happy" as "lucky" or "fortunate"．But I think a better definition of happiness is "the ability to enjoy something"．  74    It's easy to overlook the pleasure we get from loving and being loved, the company of friends, the freedom to live where we please, even good health．

While happiness may be more complex for us, the solution is the same as ever．Happiness isn't about what happens to us; it's the ability to find a positive for every negative, and view a difficulty as a challenge．  75 

       A．For a child, happiness has a magic quality．

       B．You never know where happiness will turn up next．

       C．So we chase it and make it equal to wealth and success．

       D．And those pinnacles seem to get rarer, the older we get．

       E．The more we can enjoy what we have, the happier we are．

       F．It's not wishing for what we don't have, but enjoying what we do possess．

       G．Suddenly it's conditional on such things as excitement, love, and popularity．

Some people try to protect their children from unpleasant realities like illness, financial loss and death. But doctors point out that children can often end up feeling left out if they are old enough to understand what’s going on, but are not told the truth about family worries.

One widowed father told me how deeply he regretted that he and his late wife did not tell their son that his mother was dying of leukemia(白血病). “For months we kept that truth to ourselves. We thought we were protecting our son from emotional pain,” he recalled. “It was a great mistake. I had time to prepare myself. But my wife’s death stunned our boy. It was years before he trusted me again.”

Says Judith Davenport, a psychotherapist(心理治疗医师) who practises in Santa Monica, California. “It’s important to let children experience the reality of death, if it can be done in an atmosphere of love and caring. A child whose sibling, parent or grandparent is seriously ill can be made to feel helpful by being allowed to run errands(跑腿) or answer the phone. Even a very young child can comfort a sick loved one with a brief cheering visit.”

In many matters, if children are not told the facts about a financial setback, says Grace W. Weinstein, writer of Children and Money, they may imagine the worst. For example, they might think they’ll have no food to eat or will lose their home, when the simple reality may be that luxuries(奢侈品) will have to be taken away.

Even the busiest family can arrange to share a relaxed evening meal together at least once or twice a week. Mealtimes are often the only time that families can engage in stimulating(机动人心的) conversations.

Says Michael Abrahams, a licensed(得到许可的) clinical social worker in Rockville, MD. “How mealtime is used to argue or talk, discipline or praise is a good barometer(晴雨表) of whether a family is drifting apart or drawing closer.”

Another way to strengthen family closeness is to encourage your youngsters to invite a friend

for dinner from time to time, giving each child a turn at choosing the guest. This makes parents get to know their children’s friends, and also helps youngsters feel they are respected members of the family.

A joint endeavor can be stimulating if you choose one that everyone enjoys. Try planting and cultivating a garden, or organizing that box of old snapshots into a family album(相册), or learning how to bake bread from starch.

One father recalls the shared sense of success he and his son experienced when they finished building a dining-room table. “We started six months ago with plants and planks,” he says. “When the job was done, we looked at each other and said, ‘We did it1’”

1．The passage is written mainly for _____________

       A．parents                B．children               C．social workers     D．teachers

2．Judging from the passage, what does “sibling” in the third paragraph mean?

       A．Friend                 B．Brother and sister C．Cousin                D．Relative

3．What does the writer suggest in order to strengthen family ties?

       A．Youngsters should invite friends to dinner at home.

       B．Parents had better plant and cultivate a vegetable garden.

       C．Make sure to let the child, no matter how old he is, know right now if somebody in your        family is going to die.

       D．Parents should tell their children of financial setback in the family in order that they get        prepared psychologically(心理上)。

4．Why does building a dinner-room table give the father and his son shared sense of success?

       A．Because building a table a great pleasure.

       B．Because others didn’t believe that they could finally do it.

       C．Because a dining-room table is very important to the family.

       D．Because they achieve something by doing something together.

When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your anger. But forgiveness is possible—and it can be surprisingly helpful to your physical and mental health. Indeed, research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite(胃口) and better sleep patterns. “People who forgive show less anger and more hopeful,” says Dr. Frederic Luskin, who wrote the book Forgive for Good. “So it can help save on the wear and tear on our system and allow people to feel more energetic.”

   So when someone has hurt you, calm yourself first. Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love. Don’t wait for an apology. “Many times the person who hurt you may never be thinking of apologizing,” says Dr. Luskin. “They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don’t see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting a very long time.” Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean accepting the action of the person who upset you. Mentally going over your hurt gives power to the person who brought you pain. Instead, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Finally, try to see things from the other person’s perspective(视角). You may realize that he or she was acting out of ignorance(无知)，fear—even love. To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from that person’s point of view.

The text is mainly written to explain ___.

   A. how to keep yourself from being hurt      B. how to stay mentally healthy

   C. how and when to remain calm            D. why and how to pardon others

According to the writer, what is the right way to calm down after being hurt?

   A. Try to figure out why you get hurt.

   B. Write a letter to the person who hurts you.

   C. Persuade yourself to accept what others have done to you.

   D. Think about pleasant things and forget about the hurt.

Dr. Luskin advised us not to wait for an apology after being hurt because___.

   A. we are not patient enough          B. we’d feel worse accepting other’s apology

   C. people seldom want to apologize      D. people don’t mean it when they apologize