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When I was a little girl, people used to send me lots of presents.There were plenty of gifts from relatives, but some came from salesmen, who tried to improve relations with my father, the vice president of a Midwestern department store chain.
All pleasure I expressed upon unfolding a package was silenced when I learned about Mom's law.For each and every present there must be an inescapable thank-you note.It took a lifetime to learn Mother's real lesson:There is no law requiring people to send me gifts or treat me nicely, and for their thoughtfulness alone they deserve acknowledgement.I must show that I appreciate what they have done.
In writing notes, either to family members or to gift-givers whose names I could not attach to a face, timeliness was the most important.If Mom asked when I was going to write a note, my wrong answer was, “When I feel like it.” She informed me that the giver needed to know that the gift had arrived safely through rain or snow or heat or gloom(幽暗)of the night.
My note also needed to answer the giver and recognize his or her thoughtfulness, creativity or generosity.(Grandma, you're so good at knotting! It must have taken you weeks to make that blanket for me.Thank you!)Next, the note had to contain some kind of use for the gift itself.Even if I didn't like it, I would have to find some positive quality.(Aunt Sally, your sweater is so soft that I never want to stop touching it.)Finally, I had to say something about myself to show that I was not just doing my duty but also being honest.I still remember the day when a friend of Mom's called to compliment me for a thank-you note I'd written.
Later, writing a thank-you note was no longer a task for me to do with, but a process that made me feel cared for and reminded me that I was caring.A thank-you note is not only for others, but for myself as well.